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CELEBRITY BOWL: FOOTBALL GAME KICKS OFF ANTI-DRUG WEEK

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You had to see it to believe it.

Utah's attorney general knocked a man to the ground, while officials penalized the state Department of Corrections director for "molestation." And to top it off, Gov. Norm Bangerter and LaVell Edwards were caught cheating.No one seemed to mind Monday night's unorthodox behavior, however. The actions were all for a good cause - the prevention of drug abuse.

Business, media and political "celebrities" joined for an unusual, but entertaining touch-football game to kick off Red Ribbon Week, a weeklong campaign against drug abuse sponsored by the Utah Federation for a Drug-Free Youth.

Decked out in bright Utah red and under the direction of coach Jim Fassel, the "Raving Brutes" were out to defend the honorable 1-0 record they've held for the past year. But coach Edwards and the BYU blue "Freddie Krugers" were thirsty for revenge.

Perhaps it was the nearly-full moon. Or maybe the ghost of Kruger was haunting Olympian Henry Marsh, who ran for three (or was it four?) of the team's touchdowns. But in the end, the Krugers walked away with the Celebrity Bowl victory with a score of 30-24.

After the colorful skydivers landed and the anti-drug "It's Hot to Not" balloons were released, the game began in style when KTVX Sports Director Steve Brown tried an onside kickoff.

It worked, but don't expect Edwards to try it against Hawaii Saturday.

Seconds later, Marsh wiggled into the end zone after catching a not-so-bad toss from KUTV sports anchor and Kruger quarterback Dave Fox. "He's a steeplechaser and just jumped over everybody," said announcer and KUTV Sports Director Bill Marcroft.

Less than a minute had ticked off the clock when the Brutes began the accusations against their rivals. "Cheaters! Cheat! Cheat!"

But four referees were on hand to keep the game clean. The governor was called for "illegally holding back money." Then Utah Department of Corrections Director Gary DeLand was penalized for "molesting" an opposing player. Deseret News attorney Randy Dryer helped plea-bargain to have the call reduced to "illegal use of hands."

And KLZX news director Dan Bammes was ready to help the referees with their calls. "Did you see that vicious clip from the attorney general?" he asked.

But the big shocker occurred at the end of the first quarter when BYU's Edwards actually told his players, "Keep thinking of new ways to cheat, guys." What's worse is, the governor nodded in agreement!

Now before Ute fans start writing nasty letters to the editor, U. football coach Fassell had his own conniving plans. He convinced Pee Wee Herman (Brian Morris) to change his allegiance and he was given a red Brutes shirt to wear under his blue jersey.

"We'll throw the ball to you and then take off your (blue) shirt when you get in the end zone," Fassel whispered to Pee Wee. It never happened, but don't be surprised if Fassel tries it against Colorado State.

Here's a quick look at plays that could make the next Sports Illustrated video:

Edwards' 30-yard reception AFTER the ball hit the ground once. He then ran 15 yards. Quarterback Fassel's 40-yard pass to Smith's Food King President Richie Smith and later Fassel's run with the ball - something he tells U. quarterback Scott Mitchell NOT to do.

Little Nicholas Smith (measuring in at 3 feet) runs 80 yards for the score, surrounded by dad and fellow Brutes. Bangerter's 35-yard pass reception and subsequent 10-yard limp (he had surgery, remember?). KSL reporter Tammy Kikuchi's "injury" and subsequent request for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Then there was the winning Fox-to-Marsh touchdown pass, despite the fact that the entire defensive line was holding hands.