With apologies to those clever people at Oldsmobile, be forewarned: this is not your father's - or mother's - homecoming.
University of Utah student organizers have thrown a few '80s twists into this year's "U-phoria" celebration honoring the twin college shrines of football and alumni, according to Ted Kimball, senior class president. "We've tried to keep supporting changes," he said, "while we've tried to bring back some traditions."If you're looking for homecoming tradition on the U. campus, you can still find traces: pep rallies were held on the Marriott Library plaza all week, a float-laden parade complete with the university's marching band was scheduled to wind through campus Saturday morning and the block U got a new coat of whitewash.
And sure, the vortex of the whole weekend will still be focused around the old pigskin that will be tossed around by the Utes and Colorado State. There will still be red-shirted tail-gaters out in volume, and "Utah Man" will hang on the air enough times to at least tempt U. football great Lee Grosscup to question his retirement. The campus has donned its fall coat of rusty colored leaves, so alumni will have something to rustle through as they wander around the quad thinking about the good old days.
But forget the idea of a homecoming date-dance, where coeds wear corsages pinned awkwardly to their formal gowns while bear-hugging on a dance floor among waltzing alumni couples. In the 1989 version of homecoming festivities, alumni and future alums have networked this week at a Career Connection job seminar.
Kimball said organizers canceled the dance from the traditional slate of activities because the Union ballroom is under construction and there wasn't enough interest to hold one anyway. "That's something that has changed in the metamorphosis of homecoming."
And even the idea of a fun-run is becoming old-fashioned. While runners will still turn out Saturday morning, this year the hot Homecoming contest was the "Shred-Fest," a mountain bike competition Friday afternoon after the traditional bucket brigade formed to whitewash the block U.
Another sign of the times is that Homecoming Queen Erin Harvego, of the Tri Delta sorority, won her title without a sequin in sight. Candidates competing in this year's queen contest were judged on essays they wrote about their future goals and their community involvement, instead of points scored for beauty or a swimsuit competition.
"We even had people mad at me for calling her a queen, so I'm not sure what we're calling her," Kimball said. And the traditional U. farce of electing a Homecoming King, complete with swimsuit and evening gown activities, was canceled after only four contestants signed up.
As traditional as any homecoming activity is the general student body's attitude of apathy toward ceremony and tradition. That remains constant, outside of student government types or the Greeks, even in these establishment '80s. "Quote this," said Larry Shepherd, a junior majoring in communication. "When's homecoming?"
"I don't have time for homecoming. I have to study," groused David Johnson, a junior majoring in communication.
While the classes of '49, '54 and '64 are planning big reunions for this Homecoming weekend, Kimball agrees most U. students will be studying. For serious students, the burden of tests and research papers might bear more weight than the chance to guffaw at Comedian Steven Wright, who is scheduled to perform a homecoming concert Saturday night at Kingsbury Hall. "Live and in person," the advertisement in the Chrony shouts, "just like on HBO. He could be funnier in person."
"I don't think most of the '80s students up here have fun," Kimball said. "Most of them will be doing chemistry or engineering on Friday and Saturday nights, which is a sad commentary on the sense of humor up here on campus."