DEAR ABBY: My problem is different from any I have seen in your column. My boyfriend, "Sammy," and I have been going together for 41/2 years. We want very much to get married, but Sammy is married to another woman. I will call her Shirley.
Five years ago, Shirley left Sammy for another man, and Sammy has not been able to find her. He has written to her, but all his letters were returned, marked "No Forwarding Address." He has contacted all her friends and relatives, but nobody knows where she is.We are getting so discouraged, we are ready to go ahead and get married anyway. Is there any way Sammy can get a legal divorce from Shirley so we can get married? - LOOKING FOR SHIRLEY IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOOKING: The laws vary from state to state. But in California, Sammy can obtain a legal divorce, even if he can't locate Shirley. He can make a public search by placing notices in the local newspapers, as well as in the surrounding communities where Shirley might be living. These notices should run from four to six weeks, giving Shirley - or anyone who may know of her whereabouts - ample time to see the notices.
If, at the end of that period, Shirley has not surfaced, Sammy should present proof of his futile efforts to the court. A summons and petition will be filed at that time, and the court will grant Sammy a dissolution of the marriage.
Every attorney who specializes in family law is aware of this procedure. Be sure to consult an attorney, and let him or her handle it.
DEAR ABBY: I have always wondered why the American bald eagle is called "bald." It appears to have as many feathers on its head as it has on the rest of its body.
Nobody I've asked seems to know the answer, so I thought I'd ask you because you seem to have an endless store of knowledge in your head. - BLOOMINGTON BIRD BRAIN
DEAR BIRD BRAIN: I cheated. I looked it up in the Marshall-Cavendish International Wildlife Encyclopedia and learned that the American bald eagle is not really bald. It gives the appearance of baldness because its head and neck feathers are snow-white, as contrasted to the dark brown plumage on the rest of its body.
DEAR ABBY: Please settle a heated argument some friends and I are having: How do you address mail, letters, sympathy cards, etc. to a recent widow? Is it Mrs. Jim Jones or Mrs. Mary Jones? Please settle this. - VERN GORDON
DEAR VERN GORDON: A widow is "Mrs. Jim Jones" until she dies or remarries. She would be "Mrs. Mary Jones" if she and Jim had been divorced.
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