A personal journal- one that goes beyond the day-to-day recording of events that typifies a diary - can be a profoundly powerful tool to get to know yourself, says Kary R. Cotter.
"A journal can be the beginning of a relationship with yourself that can help you set a pace and direction for your life," says Cotter, a licensed clinical social worker at the Western Institute of Neuropsychiatry. "You've got to think of a journal not as a product but as a process."Cotter discovered the value of journals while in graduate school and now uses journal writing in her private practice. She shared her observations and discoveries during a women's club meeting in the James L. White Jewish Community Center.
She recommends two books for guidance in beginning a journal: "The New Diary" by Tristine Reiner is a less structured, more spontaneous approach; "At a Journal Workshop" by Ira Progoff lists a 12-step outline and various techniques to create a journal.
To begin, Cotter suggests you forget all the rules and restrictions you've ever learned about writing. "Don't worry about your handwriting, the grammar or whether or not you have expensive paper. You can paste things in the journal if you'd like; you can pray or swear or even change the point of view," she says.
You will also need to prepare for writing blocks that come when you are your own editor and are too critical. When the negative thoughts come as you are writing, ". . . attach a name to this `editor' and write, `Here comes Bertha again, adding her 2 cents worth. . . .' "
The privacy of your journal can also be a block. "If you're fearful of who'll read it, you need to solve the privacy issue." Cotter says some people carry their journals with them in the trunks of their cars. She suggests that some thoughts be written on separate pieces of paper instead of in the journal if they are controversial. The paper can later be thrown away.
Cotter lists four styles for journal writing:
-Catharsis. When there are really strong emotions, it's helpful to express those feelings. You may write in an exaggerated style or be very dramatic, but that's OK, says Cotter. You often can't be objective just yet. Time and perspective will help you sort out the cathartic writings and bring a sense of balance.
-Description. This can be an intellectual but truly sensual experience. "Capture a moment - write vivid details, the colors, sounds, smells and dialogue of a special moment that you are compelled to write about," Cotter says.
-Free intuitive writing. This style tries to get to a much deeper level - almost free associating. In the Progoff book this is called the "twilight imagery zone." Cotter says to ask yourself about a specific event or problem. "Why am I struggling so hard here? What is it about this relationship that's so conflicting?" were two questions she suggested. "This can feel really uncomfortable," Cotter warns, "because it's information that we repress. But if you continue to probe, you can find startling insights and resolutions. If you find you are constantly editing yourself, you're no longer associating."
-Reflection. This is like panning back with a camera to get a wider picture. "This is thinking in a distant, more reflective style where you can change from `I' to `you.' You can purposely talk about yourself as someone else with an altered view," she says. "This is where your inner wisdom can come through."
Using the outline from "At a Journal Workshop," Cotter advises journal writers to break their lives into 12 "stepping stones," creating a list of up to 12 significant events or eras in their lives. The first, of course, would be "I was born. . . ." During the Jewish Community Center workshop, participants expressed their 12 life "steps" in a variety of ways: One woman broke hers into times of growth, while another marked her steps with significant world events.
Cotter suggests taking one stepping stone that was of particular interest or had the most unresolved feelings associated with it. "Look at the significant people and relationships from that period. Ask yourself how you felt, what happened to you then. Look at how your work affected you and how you interfaced with society. Were there philosophical shifts at this time? What wisdom did you carry with you?"
Cotter also suggests asking if there were significant intersections - roads not taken. "Did you choose one road because you weren't ready to do the other? What might have happened had you chosen the other?"
Throughout our lives there are undercurrents of things that are yet to come to fruition. "There is an ongoing, inner process of growth that we may not be aware of." Journal writing is a way to discover anything you're waiting to understand about yourself."
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Writing techniques give new perspectives
-Lists: "We all live by lists, but these lists can really focus you," says clinical social worker Kary R. Cotter. She suggests considering: "What creates happiness for me?" "What are my favorite joyful moments?" "In making a decision, what would be the benefits or the drawbacks?"
-Portraits: This technique involves projecting yourself, trying to see others in a broader perspective. "Write about people as if you were them. This can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship with them," she says.
-Family sculpting/drawings: "Draw a picture of your family, where you belong in the group."
-Guided imagery: Imagine yourself in a particular situation, walk yourself through what you need to do. Write out your dreams - they are a symbolic language; let them speak to you.
-Altered point of view: Write about someone you interact with as if you were them. You may gain insights about their behavior.
-Unsent letters: Think of this as a first draft you won't send - allow your feelings to come out. If you're angry, this is a place to allow the process without worrying about an immediate rebuttal. Cotter told about a mother who wrote letters to her daughter at different points in her childhood. The letters were given when child was grown.
-Dialoguing: This comes from the gestalt school of psychology, where a fragmented part of the self is addressed as if it were a person. "You can address your anger and then have the anger talk back," Cotter says. "Dialogue with a person or even an event."