DEAR ABBY: You have had quite a lot of letters about shoplifting in your column. Here's how I handled a young shoplifter:
A father and his young son came into my music store in Atlanta many years ago.The father said, "My son wants to return a chromatic harmonica he took from your store."
The son had tears in his eyes. With bowed head he handed me the harmonica.
I asked, "Did you like the harmonica?"
He looked me in the eye and said, "I loved it."
"Do you have a weekly allowance?" I asked. The answer was "yes."
"Would you be willing to bring me a dollar a week until the $13 is paid?" I asked.
"Oh, yes," the boy beamed.
I gave him back the instrument. The father tried to pay for it. I said, "No, it comes from his allowance - starting next week."
The father and son came into my store every Saturday, and the son gave me a dollar until the harmonica was paid in full.
His father thanked me for giving his son a lesson in not stealing. - J.S. RUTAN, BEAVERTON, ORE.
DEAR J.S.: You were exceptionally generous. The father was exceptionally forgiving. And the boy was exceptionally lucky.
DEAR ABBY: Regarding the guest who had been deliberately kicked by a 4-year-old "bully": You suggested that the guest ask the child why she was kicking her - thereby opening a dialogue. What if the child persisted in kicking her?
My wife and I recently had dinner with a friend and her 3-year-old son at a small pizza place. We ordered a large pizza for all of us to share.
The child started handling the antipasto, taking a piece, putting it back on the plate, trying another, replacing it, etc. He ignored his mother's directives to stop.
I was particularly distressed because the child, who had a cold and a runny nose, kept rubbing his eyes and his nose while sorting through the antipasto!
I asked him to please stop touching the food unless he was going to eat it. He ignored me, so I moved the plate out of his reach and told him that he should not handle food that other people might want to eat.
My wife was very upset with me for having disciplined her friend's child. Could I have handled it better? - IN THE DOGHOUSE IN CLARK, N.J.
DEAR IN: Regarding your first question concerning the kicker and the kickee: Since the kickee was a grown woman, unless she had the mentality of the 4-year-old kicker, the "dialogue" should have put a stop to the kicking. Regarding your second question: You could not have handled the little food-handler better. Bravo!
DEAR ABBY: I am writing this from a very romantic Hawaiian island (Maui, to be exact). I am a man on his honeymoon with nothing to do at the moment because my bride is busy writing thank-you notes for our wedding gifts - we must have received more than 200 of them. She's been writing for three hours already.
We are not exactly "over the hill," Abby. I'm 26 and she's 23. What do you make of this situation? When our friends get thank-you notes from a bride on her honeymoon, don't you think they might think something is wrong with her? - TWIDDLING MY THUMBS
DEAR TWIDDLING: No. They might think something is wrong with you. P.S. How about offering to help her? Those gifts are for you, too.
Don't put off writing thank-you notes, letters of sympathy, etc., because you don't know what to say. Get Abby's booklet, "How to Write Letters for All Occasions." Send a check or money order for $2.89 ($3.39 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)