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WIFE HAS EYES FOR SPOUSE, BUT NOSE CONTINUES TO BALK

SHARE WIFE HAS EYES FOR SPOUSE, BUT NOSE CONTINUES TO BALK

DEAR ABBY: I can relate to the lady who said she stayed on her side of the bed for 40 years because her husband hardly ever took a bath. I have been in the same boat for years. I threw hints at my husband for years, but it did no good. Finally, in desperation, I said to him, "Honey, you stink!" It was like talking to a brick wall.

I'm a good cook and keep a clean house, but this man refuses to keep himself clean. He must be used to the smell, but I'm not. I've slept by myself and cried myself to sleep because he doesn't think I'm worth taking a bath for.The sad part of it is, I love this man, and he's the only one I want to give my love to. I'm 50 and still ache to have his arms around me and give me a little loving once in a while. I've never looked at another man and have no desire to.

Oh, I'd settle for a hug and a kiss, but if I try for it, it turns him on and makes him want to have sex, and I can't go that far because he smells so bad. I can't win.

The only time he ever was clean enough to love was when he was in the hospital and they bathed him. So what can I do, Abby? - MISSING LOVE IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR MISSING: If you haven't told this to your family doctor, please do. Your husband could have mental problems. His behavior is not normal, and both of you are deprived because of it. Tell your doctor what you have told me. Your husband needs a thorough examination from the neck - both ways. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: This is an open letter to all who have treated me kindly when they have driven by me while I'm on my bicycle:

Thank you for giving me a little extra room even if I have to ride in the lane instead of on the shoulder. You obviously realize that either the shoulder is soft dirt, or it has glass and junk on it that you can't see at 55 mph but I can see at 10 mph.

Thank you for not being impatient when it takes you an extra moment to get past me.

Thank you for not crowding me into the curb when there is no shoulder - as you know, sometimes the sewer gratings are set several inches below pavement level and might be just the right size to catch my tire and flip me into your path.

Thank you for not making left and right turns into me, but according me the same courtesy you would any other driver.

Thank you for patience when I ride after dark. Sometimes I don't have a light and my clothing isn't bright enough, which is stupid, but maybe I've been caught unawares and didn't expect to be out after dark - maybe I had a flat, or misjudged my distance or the time. And I'm grateful when you don't turn on your bright lights in my face.

Thank you for not honking your horn, or seeing how close you can come short of hitting me (for the fun of it), or yelling or shouting obscenities when you drive by as though I had no right to be on the road.

Please be considerate of me, automobile driver. When gasoline costs $5 a gallon, we'll all be on bicycles. - ANYWHERE, USA

DEAR ABBY: Thanks for reminding us to watch the number of "you knows" we use in one sentence. I wasn't aware that I was guilty of overusing "you know" until I listened to myself.

Another annoying habit is punctuating the end of every sentence with "Right?" or "OK?"

Example: "So I went to the post office, OK? Then I asked for postage stamps, OK? I gave him a $5 bill, OK?"

I think you get the idea, right? - ALICE IN ALTOONA, PA.

DEAR ALICE: Right!