"Look Who's Talking" was not my favorite film last year, although it had some amusing moments. For me, it was simply a one-joke movie that too quickly wore out its welcome.
The joke, of course, was Bruce Willis doing voice-over thoughts for Kirstie Alley's baby, "Mikey" — wisecracks of the kind that all parents make when their babies pull a face or react in an unexpected manner. And the kind of jokes Bob Saget regularly makes on TV's "Funniest Home Videos."
For me, a little of this goes a long way — and it's hardly enough to sustain a feature film. (Or a half-hour TV show, for that matter.)
But "Look Who's Talking Too," which opened in theaters Friday, makes the first film seem like "Gone With the Wind."
This time out, little Mikey is a bit more grown up and overly preoccupied with "potty training" — so much so that it is the film's main running gag. That seems appropriate since this movie quickly goes down the toilet.
But Mikey's got more troubles on the horizon as his parents — accountant Alley and cabbie/part-time pilot John Travolta — are married now and conceive a baby sister.
The film opens with the same kind of sperm-swimming-after-the-egg sequence that began the first picture, only this time the new baby — Julie — is introduced with the voice of Roseanne Barr.
But the real tastelessness begins with the birth sequence, as potential tragedy is treated with offhanded humor. The baby's umbilical cord becomes wrapped around her neck, the doctor tells Alley the infant is in distress — and inside the womb we see the baby, strangling on the cord, with Barr's voice saying, "This will teach me to accessorize."
But then, nothing in this movie is.
There's Alley's mother, again played by Oscar-winner Olympia Dukakis ("Moonstruck"), nagging about Travolta being a bum; there's Alley's no-account brother, who leaves the two little kids alone in the apartment while he chases a burglar — and the apartment catches fire; there are babies cussing — at least in their thoughts; there are several fantasy sequences as Alley envisions Travolta cheating on her and Mikey sees the toilet come alive, spitting blue water at him; there are quite a few music-video sequences, including Travolta dancing with nursery school kids to Elvis Presley's "All Shook Up"; there's Alley and Travolta, whose relationship this time out consists of yelling, shouting and generally being unpleasant to each other. . . .
What there isn't is anything funny.
"Look Who's Talking Too," again co-written and directed by Amy Heckerling, is a real mess. Let's hope audiences stay away so that next year we don't have to put up with "Look Who's Talking And Won't Shut Up — The Toddler Years!"
"Look Who's Talking Too" is rated PG-13 for violence, sex, profanity and vulgarity — far too much for a movie whose ads attract young children as a potential audience. Parents should beware.