The Persian Gulf crisis has frayed nerves, strained alliances and caused gnawing worries about the future. It has also spawned a lot of jokes about Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi leader who started it all.

The humor helps take the edge off the fear.In a Bahrain cafe, an Egyptian pulled up a chair and made the habitual gestures of looking left and right to make sure no secret police were around. Then he poked fun at the Iraqi president's reputation for ruthlessness.

"The other night Saddam reprimanded his son for his poor English. He asked if the boy neaded a tutor, and the boy named one," he began.

"Saddam picked up the phone and issued the order: `Bring along that English language teacher, Ibrahim Ramadan.' Ten hours later, Saddam phoned again and yelled, `Where is that teacher? I ordered you to get him!'

"The intelligence chief replied: `We did, Mr. President. The man confessed and we executed him.' "

Large numbers of Egyptians work in the Persian Gulf region, drawn by its oil wealth. The crisis sparked by Saddam's Aug. 2 conquest of Kuwait has given them a chance to indulge in a favorite pastime - making acid jokes about petty tyrants.

For the Egyptians in the region, the jokes can help them forget their own country's risky role in the crisis.

Their president, Hosni Mubarak, led Arab efforts to settle the crisis without outside intervention. When Saddam spurned his efforts, Mubarak sent troops to join the multinational force in Saudi Arabia.

Saddam, who took power in 1979, rules Iraq with an iron hand, with a powerful security apparatus to keep his citizens in check.

The 54-year-old leader is also at the center of a pervasive personality cult. Iraqi newspapers, television and radio constantly sing his praises. Even children's nursery rhymes hail Saddam.

In the small oil-rich states of the gulf - states not so different from Kuwait - Saddam is also looming large these days.

Cafe patrons have stopped playing backgammon and dominoes. Instead, they huddle around transistor radios and listen to newscasts, smoking their water pipes and sipping heavy dessert coffee.

The Egyptian cafe-goer bent over a group of Arabs and said in a serious tone: "Have you heard the latest?" His audience tensed, waiting to hear about a fresh political or military development in the crisis.

"The U.N. delegates from Egypt, Sudan and Iraq were asked what was their opinion about eating meat," said the storyteller. "The Egyptian asked `What's meat?' The Sudanese asked `What's eating?' and the Iraqi asked `What is opinion?' "

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(Additional information)

The ring of truth?

Here's the telephone message Persian Gulf rulers hear when they call Baghdad: Beep . . . "Hello, this is Saddam Hussein. Sorry I'm not at home right now but I'll be in yours real soon."

-Punch, the British humor magazine

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