A startling 50 percent of American women are dieting at any given moment.

Unfortunately, for most women a diet works for only a short time. One reason is that women are focused on their weight - rather than their health. Another reason is that women don't consider losing weight a LIFESTYLE issue. Yet another is that they don't put themselves in focus. Busy taking care of other people, they aren't convinced they're worth the same intensive effort they expend on others.Consider, if you will, a woman who used to diet over and over - a woman who has now taken charge of her life, her body, and her self-esteem. And a woman who is losing weight.

Her story didn't begin with weight loss. It began many months before any attempt to lose weight with her making a decision to take care of her SELF.

"Ultimately, each person faces the issue of taking responsibility for his or her behavior and actions," she says. "It was my turn to put away the child - to stand accountable and be in control of my life; to be responsible not to my parents or my husband or any other person - but to myself.

"I realized I had invested all of my time and energy in my adult years in other people, and I had lost a view of who I was. I had faded away - I had a sense of just being invisible - even in crowds. I had given everything I was away to other people.

"During my marriage, I devoted 100 percent of my time caring for children and for my husband. And for 10 solid years I was either pregnant or nursing. My obstetrician finally said, `You need a rest - you've been either growing a baby or feeding a baby since I've known you.'

"It was in those years that the pounds gradually crept up on me - until I was 50 pounds overweight. Partly I put on the weight because I never stopped to take care of me - I just wasn't in the caretaking equation.

"My SELF was out of focus. I realized I had lost my personhood. I knew I needed a sense of direction. If I didn't know what I wanted how did I know how to get there?

"So I made my overriding personal goal this: I would take care of my SELF. I would begin a lifetime Self Investment program. I wouldn't quit taking care of other people - I would just add ME to the equation. And that meant that others would need to make some adjustments so I could devote a fair share of attention to that Self.

"As a beginning step, I began taking better care of my personal appearance. I decided not to wait until I lost 20 pounds. I would look good NOW. I would buy some clothes for my Self. I had waited for 10 years until I was `the right size' and I was still wearing my sweats, my dark pants, and all my other `fat uniforms.'

"I threw out all my `holey' nightgowns - the ones you wear because no one sees you. It became important to me that I could see me in my shabby nightgowns! And I bought some lingerie that made me feel attractive and feminine.

"I also bought fresh new sheets for my bedroom so that when I pulled down the covers it looked like the person who slept in my bed was well cared for.

"I began realizing that the choices I was making in favor of my Self were accumulating, like money in a bank. My account was growing - and I was becoming credible with my Self. I was now beginning to take care of me like I had been forever taking care of everyone else.

"I turned to my next step, deciding that, as master of my Self, I was going to get my health back. I would return my body to a state where I could enjoy my Self and experience once again a love and a zest for life. Science, I decided, had extended my life. If I was to have quantity of life, I would also have quality.

"I began reading everything I could about diet, nutrition and exercise - I wanted to make an educated choice about how to invest in myself. And - having been born a pear, not a banana - I wanted to choose a program I could stay on the rest of my life.

"In regaining my health, I would lose weight, I decided. The weight I had packed around for too many years had affected the quality of my life. And here I was brutally honest with myself because I knew I had to find weight-loss approaches I WOULD follow. I knew I wouldn't go to a spa because I was overconscious of my weight, so I found an aerobic exercise I could do most everyday at home. I also made new food choices - based on the latest nutritional advice and information - that I could feed my family and myself the rest of my life.

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"Next I gave up caffeine and then refined sugar and flour. Then out went the fat. I added whole grains, fruits and vegetables, lots of water.

"I took one step at a time (instead of tackling the entire project head-on, as had been my usual style). My lifestyle changes would be deliberate - and successful. I would take the time I needed to make them work.

"My goal was first my health - and then my weight. I knew that it had taken time to put on the weight. It would now take time to take it off. I couldn't instantly have what I wanted. I would put `nickels' and `dimes' into my `personal savings account' - I would exercise and eat right EVERY DAY - and I would accumulate slowly the returns of my investment.

"And the returns have come. So far I've lost 22 pounds and 28 inches. For a long time, as I saw inches melting away, I thought, `This just can't be. It blows me away.' I couldn't believe that I could really do this for my Self. The significant strides I had made finally hit home when I ran into a male friend I hadn't seen for several months and heard a WOW! and a `How are you today? You look GREAT!' I'm also experiencing better health. I was sad and crying the other day while I was driving, and I pulled down the mirror on the car visor to view the damage. To my shock, instead of seeing the white puffy cheeks and the person with bags under her eyes, I saw a woman who looked GREAT! I had made a transformation. I was different. I wiped away my tears. I was OK. I'd be all right, I said to myself. I am the master of my destiny."

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