You probably heard that Gov. Norm Bangerter turned down the opportunity to play himself in an NBC-TV movie called "Standoff at Marion" about the Singer-Swapp siege. Besides the fact that he didn't care for the script, he would have been required to audition for the role.
Audition for the part of yourself ? What if he'd gone for the audition and they said he wasn't enough like himself ? Have you ever not felt like yourself some days? Have your friends ever said, "You don't look like yourself today"?So when Bangerter turned it down, Attorney General Paul Van Dam decided to go for it. After all, he portrayed himself as a defense attorney for Mark Schreuder in another made-for-TV movie about the Franklin Bradshaw murder, "At Mother's Request."
Unfortunately, he flunked the audition for Bangerter's role - apparently not because he is a bad actor. According to casting director Catrine McGregor, Van Dam gave a "wonderful reading. But I wanted to go with an elder statesman type." So she chose Harry Murphy, a local actor, to portray Bangerter.
She said Murphy is reminiscent of former House Speaker Tip O'Neill and "looks like an elder statesman. He looks like he's been in politics for about 100 years."
She didn't say whether Murphy looked like himself.
Actually, it's just as well Van Dam lost. It would have been scandalous for a Democrat to portray a Republican - and he would have had to shave his beard.
But this is an interesting incident for other reasons. An actor was chosen because he looks like a politician, and Van Dam was turned down because he doesn't look like a politician.
I can't remember now why we chose Ronald Reagan. Was it because he didn't look like an actor - or a politician?
Considering the mood of the state and the country right now, it's a good time to elect politicians who don't look like politicians. Even though Van Dam's failure to win the role seemed embarrassing at first, it is really proof that he has the political stuff we need.
Maybe Van Dam should run for governor! He could use the story of the audition in his campaign ads.
Just imagine Van Dam wandering the shores of the Great Salt Lake in a golf shirt and jeans while a voice-over says, "Paul Van Dam for governor. He auditioned for the role of Gov. Bangerter and failed miserably. You know why? Because Van Dam doesn't look like a governor! A vote for Van Dam is a vote for a politician who doesn't look like a politician!"
Sounds promising, doesn't it? But whether he does or not, I think we've found a foolproof political process.
Let's just give up the campaign and let each declared candidate audition before McGregor. She's already cast the roles for the movie now and has time on her hands.
All the candidates could read for the role, and she could announce which ones looked the least like politicians - and if we had two who qualified, they could run against each other in the final election.
If, perish the thought, McGregor thought they all looked like politicians, then we would get rid of them all and start over.
I can make guesses based on their pictures. Merrill Cook looks frustrated. Mike Stewart looks happy. Mike Leavitt looks well-connected. Richard Eyre looks idealistic. Stewart Hanson looks distinguished. Kem Gardner looks seasoned.
Like me, you can guess as to whether any of them look like politicians, but the guess might be embarrassingly, woefully wrong. Only McGregor can tell us for sure. Trust me. We've had advertising agencies planning campaigns for years. Now the wave of the future is to hire casting directors to select the winning candidates.
If it works out, maybe we could make a movie too.