A Calmer, Happier Christmas
You will have a happier Christmas season if you don't expect a flawless, ideal season, advises Dr. Arthur Caliandro, pastor at historic Marble Collegiate Church in Manhattan.\ Don't be like the pine tree laden with too many ornaments, tinsel and blinking bulbs, he advises, or you will end up with drooping branches and blown fuses.
"Instead of striving for the ideal Christmas depicted in stories and television commercials, we should realize that Christmas affects each of us differently and our immediate feelings about it change from year to year and day to day."
Based on Christmastime questions people ask him most often, Caliandro offers these tips to consider when you catch yourself trying to achieve the perfect Christmas. Are you . . .
1. Puzzled about the meaning of Christmas? Christmas is about the gift of life and love and promise and wonder and the eternal child within yourself. During the holidays, remember to love and care for that child. Christmas is about giving to others, so if you are having difficulty with someone, pay attention to the child-part of them.
2. Feeling lonely and detached? Don't keep it a secret. Acknowledge that such emotions, especially prevalent during the holidays, are just part of being human. Build a bridge out of your loneliness by finding someone else who feels the same and listening to each other.
3. Sad and melancholy? It's OK to sit with your sadness. Sadness is the legitimate opposite of happiness. Give it its time, and it will pass.
4. Nostalgic and yearning for good times past? Go with it. Indulge yourself in reminiscing. Extract the pleasant juices of happy memories. But don't wallow in them. Live, so that today you may make more happy memories.
5. Stressed and harassed? Decide that demands and conflicts will not rule you. Consider that your goal is to make a happy holiday, so scale down your expectations. Focus on your goal and picture a calm and peaceful scene.
6. Feeling childish and playful? Have fun with yourself. Frolic with a playful spirit. Smile and giggle and laugh. Be that playful child you once were.
7. Feeling unloved? If you feel the people you love aren't appreciating what you've done for them, take a deep breath and change your train of thought. Think of one special time that you were appreciated, give yourself a hug and tell yourself that you are lovable.
8. Feeling "empty" because it doesn't seem like Christmas? Lose yourself in helping someone else. Find a way to give in a special way, and you'll catch the full Christmas spirit.
9. Happy but afraid it won't last? Enjoy and revel in the moment. Let the warmth and color and excitement of the season in, and you will carry it forever.
10. Troubled because the world isn't peaceful? Work on your own corner. A peaceful world reflects people at peace with themselves. Be part of the solution by striving to achieve your own inner peace, then share it with others.
Holiday Shopping: Plan More to Spend Less
Many consumers will start the New Year wondering how they'll be able to pay the bills left from Christmas shopping. Before you're hit with the financial blues in 1992, suggests the Consumer Credit Education Foundation, keep these tips in mind:
- Set a budget for holiday gifts and entertaining that puts a limit on what you can afford - and stick to it.
- Make a list of all the family members, friends and co-workers who will be receiving a gift from you. Put a dollar figure next to each gift you plan and check the total to be sure it's within your budget.
- For those small gifts for co-workers or neighbors, consider homemade baked goods, fruit jellies, herb vinegars and mustards.
- It saves a lot of time shopping if you can decide on a "class" of gifts for the men and women on your list - different scarves or wallets for all of them, for example.
- Some people find catalog shopping helps them keep within their budgets because they can make decisions at home more leisurely. When ordering through catalogs, be sure items will be delivered in time for your holiday giving. Also ask about exchange and return policies.
- If you plan to charge some of your larger purchases, check with the retail stores about special credit plans they might have for deferring payments without interest charges for several months. But be sure you can afford to make the payments at that time.
- Save all receipts for gift purchases and keep them in one convenient place. If you have to exchange or return items after the holidays, this step will make the process easier.
- Keep a running total of the costs of all your gift purchases so that you can compare the amount to your budget.
Traditions bring families closer
It's often the traditions, not the trappings, that bring families together and create the warmest memories at holiday time.
"In this crazy, ever-changing world, it's comforting to have family traditions, says Kevin Swick, a professor of education at the University of South Carolina, who specializes in family issues. "Rituals are the glue that hold families together and make us feel secure. People need stability, and that's what traditions give us."
It doesn't really matter what the traditions are, he says. What is important is spending time together. "This sends a powerful message to children that they can count on you as a family."
However, he says, traditions should be flexible and able to change to meet a family's needs. Sometimes a tradition that works well when children are small - such as going to Grandma's house - doesn't work when your children are teenagers. If your traditions no longer suit the family, don't hang onto them but find new ones.
The best traditions are simple and involve everyone in the family. For example:
- If your family has a particular ethnic heritage, you might want to plan a meal or party using foods and themes indigenous to that heritage.
- Plan ways to give time, money or donations to those less fortunate. Work together in a soup kitchen or have each member of the family donate personal items for a charity.
- Do simple things like decorating the tree or singing carols around the piano.
"Annual traditions shouldn't be a practice just for parents with small children," says Swick. "The holidays aren't celebrations just for children. Everybody, whether they're single, married, have children or not, should have traditions and practices that make them feel good.
Surviving the feasting
A single piece of pecan pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream has 718 calories. A cup of eggnog has 340 calories. It's no wonder that the average American gains about 6 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's.
Consumer Reports on Health suggests some simple strategies to fight the battle of the holiday bulge.
- You can win half the battle by sticking to a regular exercise program right through the holidays.
- Happily, turkey makes an excellent low-fat, low-calorie meat course. To keep those calories as low as possible:
- Remove the skin (that cuts calories by about 20 percent).
- Don't cook the stuffing in the turkey; the bread absorbs fat along with the flavor.
- Elevate the bird on a roasting rack; don't baste with drippings, use fruit juice or broth.
- Chill drippings so you can skim off the fat before you make gravy.
- Favor light meat over dark. A 3-ounce serving of skinless white meat has only 133 calories, 20 percent of them from fat; skinless dark meat has 159 calories, 34 percent from fat.
- Look for light alternatives to many holiday staples. Homemade turkey gravy is 71 calories per 1/4-cup serving; gravy made from a dry mix is only 22 calories. A candied sweet potato has 288 calories, while a plain baked sweet potato has 118 calories. Instead of butter or regular margarine, use a light margarine, which can save half the calories.
- Use dried fruit instead of candied fruit in fruitcakes and other baked sweets.
- When possible, cook with one-third to one-half less sugar. In most recipes other than frosting or candies, that won't noticeably affect the result.
- Skip the yolk when you can. It accounts for 60 of an egg's 77 calories.
- Cut the calories in beverages in half by mixing with an equal measure of sparkling water, which has no calories.