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DEAR ABBY: Have you ever heard the little jingle that goes:

"A son is a son 'til he takes a wife,"But a daughter is a daughter all her life"?

We have only one child, a son. He is now married. My husband and I helped them a lot when they first married and plenty since that time. Those kids practically furnished their home with gifts from us. (Generous checks for their birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas.)

Abby, it really hurts when we go to their home and see pictures of our daughter-in-law's family all over the place but not one picture of my husband and me. We have given them several nice ones taken at an expensive portrait studio, but they are probably stuck away in some closet or drawer.

Maybe the kids don't realize how much this hurts us. Please put this in your column. They take the Evansville Courier, and I know they both read your column. Sign me . . . HURTING IN INDIANA

DEAR HURTING: I'm publishing your letter not so much with the hope that your son and daughter-in-law will see it but to offer you a little advice.

The next time you visit "the kids," instead of silently hurting, why don't you tell them what's on your mind?

A simple, honest statement such as, "I feel hurt when we come to your lovely home and there's not one picture of Dad and me anywhere."

It may not change anything, but at least you will have spoken your piece, and I think you'll feel better for having said it.

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law, whom I dearly love, has what I believe is a genetic problem. He falls asleep while he is driving his car. Last week, he fell asleep at the wheel while driving with my son. My son woke him up just in time to prevent an accident. From what my daughter tells me, there have been other similar incidents.

Their year-old daughter is in my care almost on a daily basis. She falls asleep in a car within five minutes. Both she and her father are active everywhere - except in a car. The motion acts like a sedative for them.

My son-in-law will be commuting 2 1/2 hours daily, plus three hours of driving while working. I am terrified of the consequences.

I have spoken to him about this, but he is young and feels immortal. I've heard of a device that is worn on the head of the driver. It sounds an alert if the driver should suddenly fall asleep. Could you help me locate such a device? Perhaps one of your readers knows where something like this can be obtained. - A CARING MOTHER-IN-LAW

DEAR CARING: Your son-in-law should see his physician immediately. He could have a condition known as "narcolepsy." If your son-in-law or his physician needs information on this condition, write to: American Narcolepsy Association, P.O. Box 26230, San Francisco, CA 94126. It is a non-profit organization, so please send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope for information.

DEAR ABBY: "Four Eyes and Well-Adjusted" should try my solution for all those boorish men who tell me, "You'd look better without your glasses."

I slowly remove them, and exclaim, "What a coincidence! You look better without my glasses, too!" - MARTINSBURG, W.VA.