In these days when the viewing public seems fascinated with television's past, it had to happen - they had to make "Back To the Streets of San Francisco."
What with the success of the revived "Perry Mason" and the revived "Columbo" - not to mention the ratings success of retrospectives of shows like "Ed Sullivan," "M.A.S.H." and "Mary Tyler Moore" - it's only natural that some studio head and/or network programmer would see Karl Malden doing one of those commercials and recall that he starred in "Streets" back in the '70s.It had to happen, but it probably shouldn't have. "Back To the Streets of San Francisco" (8 p.m., Ch. 2) isn't a very good made-for-TV movie.
There's one major difference between "Perry Mason," "Columbo" and "Streets" - the first two were television classics, the last was a run-of-the-mill cop show that was never a big hit and was chiefly notable for launching the career of Michael Douglas.
Not that you'll convince Malden of this.
"We were never really a top 10 show and stayed there and (viewers never) said, `It's a great show.' Today, the people who come up to me say, `Boy, I watched that "Streets" - that's a great show, that's a wonderful show,' " Malden said. "The only comment to that is, the shows today are so bad that our show looks good."
Well, those are the comments of someone who's too close to the project to have much perspective.
The truth is that the passing years spread a haze over memories. The fact that "Streets" left ABC in 1977 after a five-year run - and it hasn't been in syndication for years - leaves viewers with no memory of how truly average it was.
Not to mention the fact that the '70s production style holds up poorly against today's shows.
Some television shows should be left where they belong - in the past.
Malden goes on to say that "Back" is "well-written, it's well-produced." But, unfortunately, he's wrong there too.
The movie isn't terrible, but it's sort of a mishmash of several different stories that don't mesh particularly well.
Malden's character, Mike Stone, has been promoted to captain. The only other character you'll recognize is Stone's daughter (played by Darleen Carr), who was only a semi-regular on the original series.
The rest of the cast is all new - Debrah Farentino ("Equal Justice") as an ambitious young detective, Conor O'Farrell as a detec-tive/computer wiz, and Carl Lumbly ("Cagney & Lacey") as a detective with pain in his past.
There's plenty of violence - including the shooting of a priest, the killing of a pair of criminals, a slashing murder, a hanging murder and shoot-outs galore. There's also various subplots involving ambition, male chauvinism, troubled home lives and bitter memories.
There's just so much going on that none of the plotlines receive the attention they need to make them compelling.
One of these disjointed plots involves the murder of Steve Keller, the character played by Douglas from 1972-76. Douglas does not appear in the movie, except in still photos and flashbacks from the series.
"Well, we thought we would do a story where we'd kind of end the original series and start anew, with new people," said executive producer William Yates, who was a writer/producer on the original series. "We decided that would be an effective way to conclude one and start the other."
Whoa . . . wait a minute. We're leaving out an entire year of "Streets." Douglas left the series in 1976, and the show ran another year with a new young detective, played by Richard Hatch.
But, conveniently, there's not mention of that in "Back."
The smartest one involved here wasn't involved. Douglas - who's gone on to win one Oscar for producing ("One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest") and another for acting ("Wall Street") - didn't participate, although the producers asked Malden to prevail upon their friendship and try to bring him back.
"I didn't call him," Malden said. "I didn't want to embarrass him. Michael Douglas is a big star now. A big producer. He's a big man in films, and I just didn't want to have him have the problem of saying no.
"When the show was over I called him and we had a long talk. And he thanked me for not asking him."
Smart move, Michael.
Regardless of ratings, this won't be the final time Malden goes "Back To the Streets of San Francisco." A second telemovie goes into production in May.
And Malden envisions "maybe two two-hour versions a year."
Unless there's a considerably leap in quality, let's hope not.MEMPHIS: It took Cybil Shepherd years to get "Memphis" made. And, at times, it seems like it takes years to sit through the made-for-cable movie.
Shepherd is star, co-executive producer and one of three writers (Larry McMurty is another) on this project. (It's based on a novel by Shelby Foote, "September, September.")
Set in 1957, it's the story of three white low-lifes who kidnap the grandson of the richest black man in segregated Memphis for the ransom money. They know a black man can't go to the white police about a crime committed by whites.
Shepherd plays Reeny, a fading beauty and sometimes hooker. Her cohorts are her bigoted, violent boyfriend, Rufus (John Laughlin) and a gambler named Podjo (J.E. Freeman).
It's beautiful to look at and the performances are good, but it's so languidly paced it's almost catatonic. And despite the fact that Shepherd is on the white side of the cast, it would have been a better movie if it had spent more time with the black cast members, who were far more interesting.
And the conclusion is both overly violent and overly unbelievable.
If you're a big Shepherd fan, you'll probably love "Memphis." If not, don't watch it if you're at all sleepy.
"Memphis" airs at 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. on TNT.