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You know that President Bush, Ross Perot and Bill Clinton are running for president - and one of them will win.

But there are also a lot of other people who want the top job. Utah's ballot this year is crowded with 13 presidential candidates and the vice presidential running mates. That's the most anyone in the lieutenant governor's office can remember.Some of these people are a bit strange. But, hey, it only takes 300 signatures of registered voters to get your name on the Utah ballot, so it wasn't that tough.

But some of the really different people are the ones who send political editors their resumes and say they're running as write-ins but don't have the friends, relatives or other supporters to corner the 300 people needed to actually get their names on the ballot.

(It really is not that difficult. Officials in the lieutenant governor's office say Lyndon LaRouche got on the ballot because two women stood inside Crossroads Plaza for two days asking people for signatures. That was all it took.)

Anyway, here are some of the people who've sent me material over the past year saying they're running as write-ins for president.

-Tod Howard Hawks. He's from Atlanta and is running on the theme Stop The Pain In America. Hawks promises to visit every state (I haven't heard if he's been in Utah) to spend time with those "hurting, hungry and homeless" in America. He says he'll be sleeping "on the pillows of the poor," in nursing homes "where we throw our elderly like plastic milk jugs" and in "horrid jails and pernicious prisons."

Hawks said he will not be meeting with political pros. He has written an autobiography titled "Child, Poet, Priest, An American Trilogy."

-Eligah Anderson Omega. I don't know a lot about Omega. While he outlined 386 positions he's taken on issues - I certainly don't know where Bush or Clinton stands on 386 issues - Omega didn't include a biography.

Omega does say that "every last" medical office and clinic in America should be examined and rated. The rich can continue to go to the top 15 percent of the clinics - because they can afford the high prices - but the other 85 percent would be turned over for the use by the poor and others who can't afford to go to the "rich" clinics.

-Charles Woods. I think Woods has run for president before, at least I remember his face. It's hard to forget. Woods is apparently a true war hero - he enlisted in the Royal Canadian Air Force when he was too young to fight in WWII, transferred to the British Royal Air Force and finally flew for the U.S. Army Air Corps. While flying a bomber "over the hump" from India to China his plane crashed and caught fire. All aboard were killed except Woods, whose face suffered third-degree burns. Woods owns several Alabama TV and radio stations.

-Gene Smith. Smith is a self-professed scientist, psychologist, business consultant and athlete from Lake Tahoe, Calif. He says he and his wife have lectured around the world. In 1984 he went to Moscow to try to persuade Soviet leaders not to boycott the Summer Olympics. But even though the world watched his efforts, he says, he failed. On his 53rd birthday he cycled for 24 hours as a fund-raiser for world hunger. That year he also broke his own personal high school record for the mile run - 4 minutes and 21 seconds (actually a very good time). Smith says his "forte is as a leader, mediator and astounding communicator who understands and motivates people toward unique and realistic solutions to complex human problems in business, government and personal life."

-Finally, Tennie Rogers from Arcadia, Calif. Rogers says she is for term limitation, against ignoring the poor. She favors equal opportunity for all but opposes government funding of pornography (which she defines as the National Endowment for the Arts). She is for traditional Judeo-Christian principles and against sending American jobs overseas.