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GROUP HELPS WOMEN GET SOBER, HAPPY

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Dear Abby: Three years ago, you published a letter from a woman who signed herself "Sober and Happy." She wanted to publicize the organization Women for Sobriety.

That letter prompted thousands of women to write to us about their alcohol addiction. Many joined our nonprofit group and are now leading sober, happy lives.Abby, there is still a stigma attached to women alcoholics. Will you please run that letter again?

- Antoinette Pabis-Mock, Director, Women for Sobriety Inc.

Dear Antoinette: Yes. And here it is:

Dear Abby: Whenever a woman writes about her drinking problem, you recommend that she seek help from Alcoholics Anonymous, which is a wonderful organization. But AA doesn't work for everyone. I speak from experience. I attended a few meetings and left feeling depressed and alone. Then I heard about a group for women called Women for Sobriety. They have weekly meetings, so I attended one. I felt so at home and was able to open up with them far more easily than in the AA group with both men and women.

I have had a happy sobriety for six years now. Women for Sobriety concentrates on mind power, making the best of the present instead of dwelling on the past. Interested women can write for information to: W.F.S. Inc., P.O. Box 618, Quakertown, PA 18951. Please enclose a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope, as this is a nonprofit organization.

- Sober and Happy

Dear Abby: I respect your advice and have a question for you. I feel strongly that with all the beautiful, warm, synthetic fabrics available today, there is no reason to wear the fur of an animal. To me, it symbolizes cruelty and selfishness. However, I generally keep this opinion to myself, and I doubt that even my closest friends are aware of my feelings.

My husband and I are planning a cocktail party before a formal event, and I am sure that some of our guests will show up wearing fur. What my guests choose to wear is their own business, but I will not allow anyone who is wearing fur to be a guest in my home. How should I make my guests aware of this?

- Kate Barry, Newport News, Va.

Dear Kate: I suggest that you telephone your guests in advance and tell them.

It is highly unusual for a woman who is passionately opposed to wearing fur to keep this fact from her closest friends. An activist for any cause is totally ineffective unless he or she speaks out at every opportunity. (A "closet activist" is an oxymoron.)

Please, warn your guests in advance that fur-wearing folks are not welcome - or fur will fly!

Dear Abby: I hope you can help me with my problem. I have been dating this guy for five months. I love him very much and I know he loves me. He calls me every night when we are not together, and we usually spend the weekends together. Here's the problem: He lived with a woman for six years and they have three children together. They are 51/2, 3 and 2 years old. He loves his kids, but he will not tell their mother (his ex-girlfriend) that he is in love with someone else so she should go on with her life and leave him alone. Everyone who knows us thinks that he should tell her. It's really making me feel like I am "the other woman" even though I'm not.

What should I do?

- Feeling Like "The Other Woman"

Dear Feeling: You "feel" like "the other woman" because you are the other woman.

He may love you, but he has a moral obligation to the mother of his three children - with whom he lived for six years!

I think you should say goodbye to this man, for your sake, his sake and the sake of his three children.

Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular." To order, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)

1992 Universal Press Syndicate