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DEAR ABBY: We had a family discussion the other day about the presidents of the United States and their living quarters in the White House. One party in the discussion said that the president's family members and guests of the president must pay to stay in the White House.

I would like to know if this is true or not. - HARRY MORRIS, HOLLY HILL, FLA.DEAR HARRY MORRIS: The president is responsible for the cost of food for his family as well as for guests who stay in the White House family quarters.

According to Anna Perez, press secretary to first lady Barbara Bush, "Guests have never been charged for their stay at the White House. The White House is not a hotel!"

DEAR ABBY: I began seeing a physician for a health problem. After the third visit, he gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek as he said goodbye. On my next visit, the same thing happened. I didn't know what to make of it, but I really enjoyed it because I was very much attracted to him.

This went on for several months, so I finally asked him if he would be interested in seeing me outside the office. He said he "cares for me," but because we were in a doctor-patient relationship, it would not be ethical. Then I told him that I "cared for" him, too, but if seeing him outside the office wasn't ethical because of the doctor-patient relationship, I would gladly change doctors.

He said, "Please don't consider changing doctors - I would rather keep you as a patient."

Now I don't know what to do. Abby, why would a man (especially a doctor) make advances to a woman, then turn down an opportunity to get together with her? - NO CITY OR STATE, PLEASE

DEAR NO CITY: The doctor is obviously the affectionate, friendly type whose hugs and kisses were not meant to be a prelude to a romantic involvement. In any case, it was unfortunate that you mistook his intentions.

It's not unusual for women to fantasize about their physicians, who are well aware of this - and guard against it. In this case, your doctor's behavior was misleading and therefore unprofessional.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle something for me. I am a 31-year-old woman. For years, my stepfather has walked around in his underwear. My mom sometimes asks him to put a robe on. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't.

Recently, I discussed with my mom how embarrassing and uncomfortable I feel when my husband and I come to visit. My stepfather continues to do this around my 2-year-old daughter and my 12-year-old niece.

My mom got angry when I suggested that this might be a problem. My husband mentioned that he would not like our daughter to be around this type of behavior. My mom also got angry when I suggested that she talk with my stepfather about this. I said if she wouldn't, then I would.

I explained to my mom that our family has grown and my stepfather needs to realize how uncomfortable this is for people other than the immediate family. I know that this is his house, but do you think I should bring this to his attention? - BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR BIRMINGHAM: In a word: Absolutely! And you do not need anyone's permission to do so.

"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada), to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)