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BOOK REVEALS `BATTLE OF SEXES' AS MORE OF A HILARIOUS DANCE

Life's major mysteries - why a woman's shoe wardrobe must be four times the size of her mate's, why a man's "I'll call you" may have one of 16 meanings - are examined in a wry new book, "The World According to He & She."

It's a tasteful "Mad" magazine treatment of relationships, written for thirtysomethings. Authors are Julie Logan and Arthur Howard, a writer-illustrator team. Logan, the West Coast editor of Glamour magazine, has written numerous relationships articles, and "He & She" is an offshoot of one. To find an artist for her book, Logan advertised in the Village Voice, and Howard was her 29th interview.As part of their research, Logan and Howard had men and women fill out questionnaires. Among the observations by the two:

What convinced you to illustrate this book?

He: I've done a series of books on cats, and I was ready for a new species.

What did you learn about the opposite sex?

He: Generally, how complicated women's lives are, from their footwear choices to their underwear choices. It really is amazing. Another thing I'd never really thought about is how much a woman spends for a date . . . even if the man is treating her for dinner.

She: . . . Men will tell you anything if you buy them pizza and beer.

What's your favorite chapter?

She: "Who Pays?" Art's drawing is absolutely brilliant.

He: "Vital Stats" (What she tells her friends about the man she's madly in love with: 31 items, including Dental History and Cavity Situation, Ex-wives, Inseam, Mother's Maiden Name. What he tells his friends about the woman he's madly in love with: 1 item, "She's nice.")

And what about supposition:Woman to Woman:

Greeting :10

State of mind analysis 16:45

Discussion of mate 27:00

Discussion of children 20:00

Talk about work 12:30

Gossip 50:00

Current events 13:00

Shopping 4:00

Winding down 3:00

Great anecdote 7:00

Salutations :10

Total 2 hours, 33 minutes,

35 seconds