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FEW OF TODAY'S MOMS STILL CLING TO THEIR PARENTS' FAMILY VALUES

A national poll of mothers, both working and stay-at-home, finds few interested in all the family values their mothers subscribed to, Redbook magazine says.

Fifty-seven percent of those polled said they do not want to repeat their parents' marriage, and the same percentage said they did not want husbands who were like their fathers. The poll was released Monday.The Redbook magazine telephone poll of 1,000 mothers, ages 18 to 54 with children 18 years or younger living at home, showed that 45.1 percent work full time, 21.4 percent work part time, 3.8 percent work at home, and 29.7 percent don't work.

The poll's margin of error is 3 percent either way, according to EDK Associates, which prepared it.

One reason women gave for not wanting a marriage like Mom and Dad's was that 39 percent of their parents had difficult marriages and 18 percent got divorced. Twenty-one percent said their parents only stayed together for the sake of their children and let their children know it.

The daughters raised in these difficult marriages said they loved their fathers, but 77 percent said they would not want them as husbands.

Divorced women, who made up 6 percent of the respondents, were

more critical of their parents' marriages than women who have not been divorced, 68 percent to 56 percent. But the majority of both groups said they were looking for something different.

Thirty-three percent of those questioned said they do a better job at parenting than their mothers, and 54 percent said they are doing just as well. Barely one in 10 said her mother did a better job, explaining that they listen more carefully to their children and try to reason with them, acknowledging their point of view.

Most working (92 percent) and non-working (75 percent) mothers agreed there are advantages to working outside the home, mainly a strong sense of independence that comes with earning one's own money, feeling good about the job and being able to afford to do things with the children.

Some 57.3 percent of working mothers said they would keep their jobs even if they did not need the money. Most of these also said they had always planned on working since the expectation of having jobs has grown with each generation, from 43 percent of women over 40 to 50 percent of women in their 30s and 59 percent of women under 30.

Other findings:

- 97.7 percent of all mothers said they feel they are setting a good example for their children and 80.4 percent said they do not worry about their kids seeing them as a loving mother.

- Today's fathers take a more active role in raising children, according to 79.5 percent of those polled, and 86 percent said they and their husbands present in "united front" in disciplining children even though only 66 percent said they shared the same disciplinary philosophy with their husbands.

- 33 percent say their husbands do not work as hard as they do at marriage and 53.4 percent complained that husbands miss kids' events that only 20.4 percent of mothers said they missed.