Dear Abby: I am 32, and so is my boyfriend. We have been going together for two years and living together for the last eight months.
We have both been married. We eloped with our high school sweethearts. He had to get married because he got a girl pregnant. I got married to get out of the house. I had a friendly divorce. His was a mess. He was deeply hurt and says he never wants to get married again, and he doesn't want any children. I would like to have at least one.Abby, I would like to have a ring and told him so. He says that he will give me a ring, but it will not be an engagement ring - it will be more like a "promise" ring. Would this be appropriate since we have both been married before?
I feel a little cheated. Should I? Please rush your response to me because my birthday is coming up soon, and I think he's giving me a ring. If he does, on which finger should I wear it?
- Living As Two, but Feeling Like One Dear Living: If he gives you a ring, it doesn't matter on which finger you wear it, since he has made it clear that he doesn't want to get married again. You cannot consider this an "engagement" ring, but if he calls it a "promise " ring - what is he promising?
If you want marriage and children, you should look elsewhere, because he has already told you that he wants neither. Give him an "A" for honesty, but keep your options open.
Dear Abby: At age 43, I had almost given up on finding love. But now I find myself involved with a very loving man of 33. This will be the first marriage for both of us.
I've always wanted children, but now I wonder if I am too old. I would be interested in the opinions of your readers who have had their first child at age 46 or 47.
I worry that perhaps I would not be energetic enough, and wonder if it would be fair to a child to have a menopausal mom who looks more like a grandmother than a mother at PTA meetings.
Knowing what they know now, would any of your readers who have been down this road do it again?
- Found Love Late Dear Love found late: Age is only a number. The condition of one's health is the important factor here. I wouldn't be too concerned about how my children "might" feel having a mom who looks more like a grandmother at PTA meetings. Many women have chosen to delay motherhood - so you could find yourself in the company of contemporaries.
Dear Abby: When I read the letter signed "Guilty Conscience," I felt a mixture of relief and anxiety. Relief to know there are others like me who steal things they can afford to buy, and anxiety because I feel guilty.
I am happily married to a fine, hard-working husband, have two wonderful children and a beautiful home. Yet, I shoplift. (Always items under $10.)
Thank you, Abby, for giving me a chance to get this off my chest. I never knew there was a "cure" for this habit.
- "Me" in a Small Town
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