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Dear Abby: Enclosed is our oldest granddaughter's obituary. She was 16 years old, and I am enclosing her picture so you can see that she was an exceptionally beautiful girl.

We would have had her to hold and to love instead of a box of ashes, if she had only buckled her seat belt. She and the driver of the car were going down a country road when a tire blew. The driver lost control of the car and it went end over end, throwing both from the car, which ended up on its side with only our granddaughter's hand visible. The driver survived.Please, please, please warn your readers to buckle themselves and their precious children in! Think of how much anger and grief could be spared for their families. I know, because we are just returning from the land of sadness. We are not done, and it is a hell of a long trip.

All it takes is a few seconds to buckle up, and all it takes is a few seconds to die. Buckle up, for love's sake!

Abby, if you print this, please don't use our real names or where we live. Although the driver has been forgiven and was told it was not his fault, when we said goodbye, he was talking about suicide.

- Grieving Grandparents Dear Grandparents: My heart goes out to you. Your granddaughter was indeed an "exceptional beauty." I am printing your letter because its message is universal.

Although 33 states and the District of Columbia have seat belt laws in effect, many people still don't bother to buckle up. Such laziness caused more than 13,900 people to lose their lives in 1991, according to the most recent statistics compiled by the National Highway Safety Administration in Washington, D.C. I hope this letter serves as a reminder.

Dear Abby: A month ago, some of my co-workers received invitations to the wedding of a daughter of one of the co-workers. I was not among those who received an invitation. Then two weeks before the event, I received a telephone call from the bride-to-be saying that a few people who had been invited to her wedding could not attend - so would I like to attend? I had worked with the mother of this bride for three years, and while we weren't close friends, I considered her a friend. I told her I would let her know.

First, is it proper for a bride-to-be to phone people up and issue a verbal invitation to her wedding, only two weeks before the big day?

Second, am I wrong to feel put off for having been invited in that manner?

Third, do I have to send a gift, based on that kind of verbal invitation? I have no intention of going, but I'm not going to lie about it. I am purposely going to leave town for that weekend.

- Truly Bewildered Dear Bewildered: First, it is most improper for a bride-to-be to phone people up and issue a verbal invitation two weeks before "the big day."

Second, you are not wrong to feel put off for having been invited in that shoddy manner. And third, you are not obligated to send a gift.

This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)