STAYING HOME INSTEAD: Alternatives to the Two-Paycheck Family (a revised and updated edition); by Christine Davidson; Lexington Books; 225 pages. $19.95.
The world has changed since Christine Davidson first wrote about "Staying Home Instead." In 1983, the majority of full-time working mothers liked working full time. Today, the majority say they'd rather be working part time.
She initially wrote the book to give courage to mothers who were bucking the trend by staying home with preschoolers. Davidson rewrote the book, 10 years later, to take advantage of what she's learned and how society has changed.
Her children are teens now. Davidson is employed and saving for college. Her revised book talks about planning for re-entry into the job market - doing volunteer work, part-time work out of the home, keeping the resume current. She's also tried to include men who may want to be at home for few years.
Her time at home and her time working part time from her home was worth it, she can now report."Our family found there is such a thing as emotional luxury as well as material luxury."
She choose to quit work when her daughter was 6 and her son, 3. She struggled to feel adequate and to balance a tight family budget.
Davidson had been a part of the 1960s "a woman can be as dedicated to the job as any man" movement. She still believes that. But she believes the costs are greater than anyone thought they'd be. "In an effort to replace the detergent box or the baby bottle as the symbol of the American woman, we have come up with the two-ton brief-case."
Ninety percent of what Davidson writes is rational, caring and supportive of families and women.
But she lacks understanding in two areas.
First, about divorce. The vast majority of one-paycheck families can barely make one mortgage payment. There is no money for two mortgages. Davidson blames the women's movement because middle-class mothers don't get enough money to stay home for even a year after a divorce. Unfair. If there isn't enough money in dad's paycheck to support two households, there isn't enough money. If there is enough money and the children aren't seeing it, blame the courts.
Davidson is also rather cavalier about retirement benefits. Seventy-two percent of the elderly poor are women living in poverty. After he dies, too many women learn their husband's retirement benefits are insufficient.
The assumption permeates her book: Davidson believes a mom who has a husband today will always have a husband.
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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
How much work?
What are a reasonable number of hours a mother can hope to work? It all depends on the age of your youngest child, says Christine Davidson:
- Baby, birth to 4 months - No work, enjoy the baby and rest
- Baby, 4 to 18 months - 2 to 3 hours daily
- Child, 18 months to 3 years - 2 to 4 hours daily
- Child, 3 to 5 years - 2 to 4 hours or more
- School-age child - 5 to 8 hours a day