The problem with being Bill Clinton is that people don't return your phone calls.
"I leave my name and number and they think it's a joke," Clinton said. "I called about a couple of antiques a while ago, and the people never called me back."He is 36, a machinist and antique dealer who lives in Elk River . . . a political independent who sometimes leans Republican . . . and his name is Bill Clinton.
Yes, it's been a rocky transition.
There were lots of James Carters, if not many Jimmys, and probably some Gerald Fords, Richard Nixons and even Ronald Reagans: plumbers, teachers, crooks and grade school boys who, for a few years, shared something important and intimate with the president of the United States.
"It's a mixed blessing," said Jimmy Carter, 33, a salesman from St. Louis Park.
"It was a good way to break the ice," he said. "But I think I've heard every peanut-farmer joke there is. I still hear that crap, and what is it - 10, 12 years since he was president?"
This Carter usually goes by Jim. "But when I'm working and I want somebody to remember me, that's when I use Jimmy," he said. "It just rolls off the tongue . . . `Jimmy Carter.' "
He voted for the man from Georgia just because of the name. "It was the first time I ever voted for a Democrat," he said.
His advice for all the Bill Clintons who won't be rubbing shoulders with Boris Yeltsin or Socks?
"Have a good sense of humor and work on your impression. I had a pretty good Jimmy Cahtuh."
Three William Clintons are listed in the Minneapolis book. The Bill in Brooklyn Center wasn't answering the phone last week. And the Bloomington Bill Clinton isn't happy about his coincidental link with history.
"I'm trying to ignore it," he said brusquely. "I don't think any other comment from me is necessary."
Brenda Clinton may know how he feels. She's married to the Elk River Bill Clinton. "We've been getting a lot of guff from everybody," she said.
One man called on election night and stayed on the line for five minutes, spewing congratulations. Another fellow, cruising on liquid courage, rang at 2 a.m., and guess who answered.
"He's asleep," Jennifer said.
Jennifer?
The machinist Bill Clinton lives in a blue-and-gray house with Brenda and their daughter, Jennifer.
"I'm sure glad (my name's) not Hillary," Brenda said. "We do have a Jennifer in the house, but it's not Flowers."
(And she spells it Gennifer Flowers, the woman who claims to have had a fling with Bill Clinton. The Bill from Arkansas, that is.)
Brenda Clinton seems to be having more fun with the presidential name than her Bill is. But then, she doesn't have to produce a driver's license every time she makes a reservation or puts her name on a waiting list.
They don't plan to switch to an unlisted telephone number - unless there are more late-night calls.
Dist by Scripps Howard News Service