Dear Abby: Last year, on the night before Thanksgiving, after cleaning my house, putting a turkey in the oven and making some pies, I sat down to relax and read Dear Abby. In your column, you had suggested that people invite others to share Thanksgiving, particularly those whose families were far away and those who don't have family anymore.
Abby, the time to run that column is well before Thanksgiving, so the people who receive the invitations will feel they are truly wanted and not just an afterthought.My husband teaches a Sunday school class for single adults. The last two years we have invited anyone who wants to come for Thanksgiving to our house. Each guest signs up to bring a specific dish, or drinks or paper goods. Last year we had 18 friends (one couple whose family lives out of state, nine single adults and seven children). We had a wonderful time visiting, watching television and playing games.
Others in our church also extend invitations to out-of-state transplants and singles at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's always a blessing - a wonderful opportunity to get to know them better. I encourage your readers to make room at their tables for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. God will richly reward you.
- Becki Simmons,
Metropolitan Church of God,
Birmingham, Ala.
Dear Becki: I recall this biblical injunction: "It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35)
Dear Abby: Twenty-five years ago, I became chief baby sitter, chauffeur, nurse, counselor and caretaker of my husband's three children. I had three of my own, so suddenly we were a family with four teens and two preteen children. We weren't exactly "The Brady Bunch," and it was the most difficult job I've ever had.
At that time, there was very little written about stepfamilies, so we had to fly by the seat of our pants. I didn't know what to expect, and I had a lot of misconceptions about being a "Super Stepmom." I learned by trial and error, and miraculously raised six children of whom I am very proud.
Fortunately, today there is a lot of help for stepparents. I know that you often refer your readers to places that can help them, so please mention the organization called the Stepfamily Association of America; its toll-free number is (800) 735-0329. There are chapters and support groups all over the country, as well as professional workshops and conferences for the whole family. There are books available to help people who are in marriages with children from former relationships.
I am co-founder of one of the Pittsburgh chapters. You may use my name.
- Gloria Clark
Dear Gloria: Thanks for writing. I just telephoned your toll-free number to be sure it was current. It was, and I had the pleasure of speaking with a most charming gentleman named Bill. Thanks for all the good you do.