your children are what's most important in your life and then neglect them.

- Define who the key people are in your life.

- Take time early in relationships. The return on the investment is incalculable.

- Be aware of what you're trying to achieve. "The classic example," said Sister DeLong, "is the father taking his daughters to the mall. If a father wants to spend time with his daughters, he better be prepared to do malls because that's what their agenda is."

- Know the meaning that events have for other people. Just because something is not important to you as parents does not mean it's not important to your children.

- Know when you are emotionally unavailable. Know when you're distracted and not focused, and be able to talk about that with your family.

- Take time for yourself. Brother and Sister DeLong acknowledged that single parents have a difficult time being able to take time out. He added, "There's no more stressed group in the United States than single parents."

Sister DeLong suggested, "If at all possible, swap baby-sitting." She also encouraged ward and stake members to be aware of the needs of single parents.

But regardless of being a single parent or in a two-parent family, "Parents need to establish clear boundaries. `I can do this. I can't do that,' " Sister DeLong said. "You are the architect of your own life."

- Realize it's never too late. "You should never give up on relationships with your children," Brother DeLong said. He suggested D&C 121:36-46 as a guide to relating with family members and others.