* WINNER: The United States - for reducing its infant mortality rate to the lowest level ever - 9.2 deaths for every 1,000 live births.
LOSER: The United States. Despite the improvement in reducing infant deaths, this country still has one of the highest infant mortality rates among industrialized countries.* WINNER: The savings and loan industry. Just a few years after reeling from the scandal that required a massive taxpayer bailout, the thrifts reaped a record $5.14 billion profit in 1992.
LOSERS: The taxpayers. The final bill to them from the S&L bailout is now estimated at $119 billion. In other words, the thrift industry could kick in its entire 1992 profits for more than 20 years in a row and it still wouldn't offset the bill to the taxpayers. But the S&Ls won't be making any such contribution, of course.
* WINNERS: Senior citizens who refuse to blame their health problems on old age. New research at the University of Michigan indicates that oldsters who blame their ailments on age die sooner than those who say they suffer from a specific disease. The moral: Don't think your problems are hopeless, and be sure to seek medical help rather than suffering in silence.
- BIGGEST BLUNDER: The one that thwarted a coup plot in the west African nation of Sierra Leone. The conspiracy unraveled when officials in Ukraine sent Sierra Leone's Defense Ministry a fax detailing weapons being bought by the plotters. The Ukrainians mistakenly thought they were dealing with Sierra Leone's government. Oops!
- WORST IDEA: The one this week from Sen. John Glenn, D-Ohio. His proposal for streamlining the federal government: Create a commission to look into it. Sure, that's just what Washington needs - one more commission to add to one on federal streamlining already headed by Vice President Al Gore and to the hundreds already endlessly spinning their wheels on a variety of issues.