THIS SPRING I'm spending more time on the tee-blocks. I worry about that. I know a lot of guys who golf more than people feel golfers should golf. So, I rationalize.
I talk about the exercise I'm getting. I mention how golf soothes the savage beast in me, about the friends I'm making, about getting away from the pressures of life.People don't buy all of it.
But now, I've found the ultimate comeback: Golf is teaching me to live a better life.
Here are three ways:
HUMILITY
"Golfers have a little too much self-confidence," my mother once said. And she was right. We tend to feel that fortune shines on us more than others. If you try to blast a ball out of 6 inches of water, you're a fool. If I try, it's because I'm not like other mortals. When good things happen to me, I deserve them. When something bad happens, it's a fluke.
Like all other golfers, I feel God loves me a little more than other human beings.
So, what do I do? I take off my shoes, walk into the water and blast away at the ball.
The ball doesn't move.
Welcome to GOLF LESSON No. 1: God loves everybody just the same.
Sure, you once strung four pars together and felt invincible; but remember the fifth hole? You hooked your tee shot into Jensen's corn field.
Just remember, you lost a ball, but you got a wonderful lesson in humility.
RESPONSIBILITY
In golf, you can't blame other people on your team. You are the team. You can't say, "Boy, that golf course sure played great defense out there today" or "If Nick had gotten the ball to me sooner I would have scored better."
You can't say, "Well, from my point of view, my score is actually better than your score." The numbers tell all.
GOLF LESSON No. 2: Accepting responsibility.
I tried dodging responsibility once. I told the pro that the rain and wind made me shoot a 48. He said, "Bill played right behind you in the same conditions and had a 39."
The going expression is golf is mea culpa.
HIGHER POWER
Golf lessons are expensive. And to fit them into the budget you need a pretty good argument. I explain that I'm taking golf lessons, but I'm getting lessons in something else.
"Look at it this way," I tell my wife. "Here's a list of what I learned at my golf lesson today:
Wait for quiet.
Concentrate.
Keep your head down.
Don't rush.
Lace your fingers.
Put your weight into it.
Finish strong.
Follow through.
"Now, what does that sound like?" I said.
"A golf lesson."
"Check again," I said. "It's a lesson in how to pray. And we both know I need all of those I can get."