Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity and James Arrington's Theory of Relatives have a lot in common. Both Einstein's complex equations and Arrington's convoluted genealogical charts would fill IMAX-size chalkboards.
Now, just when Utah theatergoers have become comfortable with the long-beloved Farley bunch, playwright/actor Arrington is shaking some more strange specimens out of the family tree - which looks more like an out-of-control bramble bush.This newly hatched sequel has just as many wacko characters and produces as many laughs as the previous version.
Of course, if everyone hadn't behaved so dreadfully last year and gotten us kicked out of the old neighborhood, we wouldn't be gathering for the '93 reunion at the Golden But Still Glowing Mobile Home Park, where Volco Eugene and Vesta Ann Farley have retired to a trailer at space No. 17. (Sadly, Volco is consigned to the Sunset Shangri-La Nursing Home.)
Poor Uncle Heber, still stuck with the task of emceeing the proceedings, is also having one devil of a time with Chester's new-fangled clip-on radio microphones.
The most noticible change in the production this season is that the cast has DOUBLED IN SIZE! Both James Arrington and Mary Parker Williams are sharing the stage.
Williams has some of the best new characters - like Penelope (or is that Calliope?), who has flown from London to represent the British contingent. She's spotlighted in the reunion's "famous Farley Family Feature," with her hilarious explanation of the family's English roots. Kindly Aunt Pearl "helps out" by attempting to chart the various lineages on a colorful dry-erase markerboard. The lines and arrows end up in a helter-skelter mess.
One of Williams' best characters is Velvet Pace Felt, who works "down to the county persecutor's office" (Heber's words).
It's Velcro's . . . er, Velveeta's . . . uh, make that Velvet's job to make sure the reunion runs smoothly. We don't want to attract all those police cars and fire trucks like we did last year.
So Velvet sternly announces the new Farley Family Reunion Code of Conduct. Written in completely unintelligible Legalese, it is accompanied by a financial windfall of Blue Stickers (mere warnings) and Red Stickers (infractions - which bring a fine of $1 each).
Velvet, it seems, suffers from incurable Demerit Dementia.
Those Red Stickers add up real fast when the kids start teasing the neighbors' dog, Terminator (using a stray cat for bait). Or when they vandalize Velvet's car.
But the really outstanding highlight of the reunion - surpassing the annual coupon giveaway, more exciting than Aunt Viola's presentation of the brand new Farley Family Anthem (set to the tune of "Achey Breaky Heart"), more fun than seeing Shane and Tandy perform their cute-as-bug's-ears Clickety Clack Cloggers routine, and even better than Penelope teaching everyone the call to the hounds - was (are you ready for this?) ACTUAL COLOR SLIDES of Marva and Geneva's trip to Europe.
Granted, some of the slides . . . well, most of the slides . . . were over or under exposed and badly composed. Speaking of "over-exposed," wait'll you see Marva's shots of those NAKED STATUES in the "Loover" museum!
The narration is on par with the pictures themselves . . . with brief explanations of the "Arch of Trump" in Paris, "Michael Angelo's pictures on the ceiling of the Cistern Chapel" and Venice ("a city built on gunky water").
You get the drift.
Then there's Aunt Pearl's new job as spokesperson for a new line of powdered soup/sauce mixes (with free samples during intermission), and the surprise appearance of Heber's long-lost son, Xerxes (probably the least successful of the new characters for '93), and Janice performing the stirring piece she did to win the Miss Moroni High beauty pageant. (Have you ever considered how difficult it is to play the accordion after you've burned your fingers on a curling iron?)