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Dear Abby: I am shocked at your insensitivity to "Roses in Brooklyn," who was upset because his wife's dentist had sent her a dozen roses after numerous visits because she had been such a "great" patient.

How about knocking a couple hundred dollars off the bill instead?I agree with the husband - the dentist was, indeed, presumptuous - unless, of course, this "extensive work" was not of the dental variety. And shame on his wife for not being more sensitive to her husband's concerns. I wonder how sweet she would have been had her husband received roses from a female professional for being such a great "whatever"?

- Not So Naive, East Greenbush, N.Y.

Dear Not So Naive: Apparently, you were not alone to question my approval. Read on:

Dear Abby: We are appalled at your response to the letter sent in by "Roses in Brooklyn." It is, indeed, presumptuous of the dentist to have sent roses to a married patient for having been such a "great" patient. What would the dentist have sent a male patient for being such a "great" patient - whatever that means?

- Minnesota Readers

Dear Not So Naive and Minnesota Readers: According to my mail, you were in the minority. Let's hear it from Southampton, Pa.:

Dear Abby: Shame on that husband who resented his wife's dentist for sending her roses for being such a "great" patient.

The husband was making a mountain out of a molehill. It was definitely a sweet gesture. The dentist was merely expressing his appreciation for bringing him the business. The wife could have selected another dentist. There is no shortage of them.

My mother recently had cataract surgery, and the following day, her doctor sent her a coffee mug filled with fresh flowers. On the cup was printed: "Thank you for being a great patient!"

My mother and I thought it was a very sweet gesture - so did my husband. My mom was so impressed she sent him a thank-you note.

- Skip Our Names

Dear Abby: I am married, in my late 30s and the mother of two lively teenage boys. Everyone thinks my marriage is "ideal"; they have no idea of the turbulence in my marriage or the confusion I feel. Because of my husband's status in this community, there is no one I can confide in. A scandal could be damaging. I'd like to get a personal reply from you. I seem to remember an address appeared in your column some time ago, but I haven't seen it for some time. Please answer soon. I am a longtime reader and never miss your column.

- In Turmoil in Philadelphia

Dear Turmoil: The address to write for a personal response is: Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Be sure to include a stamped, self-addressed envelope for your reply.