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`NO SEX PLEASE’ A HILARIOUS OLD-FASHIONED FARCE

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Picture lovey-dovey newlyweds Peter and Frances Hunter, married just three weeks. Put them in an apartment over the bank where Peter works. Add an annoying intercom that fellow bank employees use frequently. As the straw that breaks the camel's back, drop in Eleanor Hunter, Peter's ultra-unctious mother who comes for an open-ended visit never thinking for a minute that the young couple is dying to be alone.

The above complications would unnerve anyone, but that's not the worst of what happens in Stage-Right TheaterCompany's production of "No Sex Please, We're British." Frances wants her own little home so desperately that she has secretly signed up to sell Scandinavian dinnerware through a mail-order company. The "dishes" she receives by parcel post are babes! In compromising poses! (On a trampoline, no less!) The dinnerware was just a front for a pornography ring.How can you explain or ditch such stuff with your mother-in-law around? Not to mention a branch manager, the local police inspector and the bank examiner?

Brian Runnicles, the chief clerk at Peter Hunter's branch, becomes enmeshed in the cover-up and "helps" the young couple by dumping the offending photos in the Thames where, like Ivory Soap, they float! And, of course, they end up featured on the 6 o'clock news.

Gary Winterholler and Jan Williams Smith play the devoted newlyweds who learn the hard way Mark Twain's saying, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Winterholler contrives elaborate and hilarious explanations for the mysterious parcels that keep appearing and the mystifying behavior of friend Runnicles who pops in unannounced in a major hysteria fearing the police are after him. (Don't miss the "poultice" scene!) Winterholler is properly frazzled and inventive while Smith manages with utter deviousness to slip sleeping capsules to some of the unexpected company.

Michael Canham is superb as Runnicles - the "veddy, veddy" proper British gentleman who is drawn in deeper and deeper. One could say Canham runs away with the laughs except that as the tomfoolery escalates, the whole cast shines. Connie Bloomquist-Goble (Eleanor Hunter) and the bank manager Bromhead who is courting her (played with wicked aplomb by Scott Palmer) go up and down the stairs just missing Police Superintendent Paul (Roy J. Prasad) in search of a quick nip of vodka and bank inspector Arnold Needham (Norman E. Plate) who will begin checking the bank's books on the morrow. Plate pulls off the best slap-stick comedy of the night as his sleeping draught finally takes hold. Causing the hair-raising finale is one last "package" - two tarts who show up on poor Peter Hunter's doorstep and must be hidden. Chimena Winterholler and Sandy Jensen portray the ladies of the evening who are determined to give someone a good time!

"No Sex Please, We're British," ran in London for eight years - it will only be playing in Bountiful through Aug. 7. If you want to see ensemble comedy at its best, don't miss this play! The final act is choreographed like a Hollywood car chase with people flying in and out of the spare bedroom and den with split-second timing, leaving the audience convulsed with laughter. Director Jansen N. Davis has crafted a seamless laugh vehicle that delivers mirth and more.