There's a moment early in "Surf Ninjas" when a young Asian-American boy, who has been asked to introduce an Asian religious leader during a school assembly, realizes he has forgotten to prepare. So, instead of a speech, he gets some friends together and leads them in an impromptu song, the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann," using the religious leaders' name.
That kind of spirited and infectious irreverence is what the film would like to put across for 90 minutes. But aside from very rare moments, it instead trades on familiar themes, lazy comedy and silly martial arts slapstick. Any inspiration there might have been as this film was prepared was somewhere along the way passed by in favor of the same old thing.A lame cross between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Bill and Ted (or is that Wayne and Garth?), "Surf Ninjas" is yet another teen (or pre-teen) adventure-comedy that aims so low even kids in the audience find few chuckles.
This film also manages to establish yet another firm Movie Rule: Avoid any comedy that features Leslie Nielsen outside of the "Naked Gun" series.
The story, such as it is, has a pair of Southern California surfin' dude brothers named Johnny and Adam (Ernie Reyes Jr., Nicolas Cowan), along with their buddy Iggy (Rob Schneider), being stalked by nasty ninjas. But every time they attack, another ninja steps in to save the boys - before they even realize what has happened.
Eventually, the latter ninja, named Zatch (Ernie Reyes Sr.), reveals that he has been assigned to protect Johnny and Adam because they are heirs to the throne of an island kingdom called Patu San in the South China Sea. And the ninjas trying to dispatch them have been sent by the evil Col. Chi (Nielsen), who has become dictator of the island.
It seems that the two young brothers were spirited off as babes and "adopted" by a sympathetic American (John Karlen), who has been their father ever since. The kids don't believe any of this, of course, until their dad is kidnapped by Col. Chi's men.
At this point, Zatch takes Johnny and Adam - and reluctantly allows Iggy to come along - to a Patu San restaurant in Los Angeles, where Johnny meets the young princess Ro-May (Kelly Hu), to whom he was betrothed as a child.
Then, it's off to Patu San, where everyone joins in to do battle with the evil Chi and his henchmen. (Oh, yes, Johnny and friends are also joined by a gravelly voiced L.A. cop, played by rap star Tone Loc).
Most of the way, though, the movie is merely another uneasy blend of martial arts action comedy, offbeat anachronisms (especially with Nielsen's character) and occasional music videos.
The cast seems to be having a good time - in fact, there is a sense that everyone had fun making this picture (it was filmed in Hawaii and Thailand). But that sense of fun does not translate to the audience.
Director Neal Israel ("Bachelor Party," "Police Academy") and writer Dan Gordon ("Passenger 57," the TV series "Sidekicks") seem to be perfectly satisfied to let the film slide on the charms of Ernie Reyes Jr. (the first two "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" films, the TV series "Sidekicks") - and he has charm, no doubt about that. But it's just not enough to hold together material this weak.
"Surf Ninjas" is rated PG for considerable martial arts violence and a few vulgar gags.