Susan Norris and her daughter, Ariel, 2, met half a world away in China when the girl was 14 months old.
Norris wanted to be a mother. But she hadn't married and "it dawned on me I wanted a child now, not later. Because I waited so long to give in and because I'm single, my options were limited."Although Keith Eddington is an attorney who specializes in adoption, adopting a child was not something he or his wife, Diana, had considered. They already have seven children.
He was handling foreign adoptions and was in the process of finding children for some of his clients when he ran across a little Russian boy, age 5.
"I made the mistake of taking the picture home," he laughs.
Now, they are awaiting the paperwork that must pass between the countries so that they can bring the boy into their family.
Foreign adoptions have become very popular with Utahns, both couples and singles, according to Janice Neilson, World Association of Children and Parents. The Seattle-based agency helps Americans adopt children in Costa Rica, Ecuador, Colombia, Korea, Thailand, Hong Kong, China (which is allowing foreign adoptions again) and Romania. The agency is thinking of going into Russia, and it works in the United States with special-needs adoptions.
"People are surprised to find out there has never been a better opportunity for people who want to adopt and share their lives. There are kids really needing that help. There have been times when things kind of closed down. That's not the case now.
"It's an interesting and complex time for international adoptions," Neilson said. "The (recently held) Hague Convention is a very positive step for intercountry adoption. It provides worldwide recognition that foreign adoption is the best choice if a child does not have a chance for adoption in his birth country.
A `Y' in the road
"Intercountry adoption is at a `Y' in the road, where it is critical that all participating are very, very concerned about the ethical processes. We have seen some adoption policies become a system whereby children's interests were not protected - particularly out of Romania."
Most agencies that deal with foreign adoptions - and the countries that have children available for adoption - try first to reconcile the child with the birth family. If that isn't possible, they try to find an adoptive family within the country. Finally, they consider allowing adoptions from outside their national boundaries.
Utah residents adopted 126 foreign children in 1991 - in the top 20 in foreign adoptions for the country, according to Roland Oliver, adoption specialist in the Department of Human Services. That number keeps rising.
The same, yet different
In many ways, a foreign adoption is little different from a local adoption. The process requires a home study and a lot of paperwork.
Foreign adoptions are "on one level a very simple act: A loving family wants to share with a child who has a desperate need. On another level, it's extremely complicated," Neilson said. "It takes a long time in some cases. There's so much paperwork. Every adoption is a miracle because so many barriers have to be broken down and so many steps accomplished."
A maze of regulations
If every adoption has some complications, threading the way through foreign regulations can be taxing. For one thing, most of the countries have their own rules and preferences.
Countries like China, Thailand, Colombia, Ecuador and Costa Rica require at least one adoptive parent to go there to complete the process of adoption and escort the child home. Korea, on the other hand, does not. The child can be escorted to the United States by someone acting as an agent.
Families who go to Romania or Ecuador to pick up a child will need to plan on being there a couple of weeks. When Norris went to China, it took several weeks. In most cases, the trip takes from two to six weeks.
Some countries offer completed adoptions that don't have to be "refinalized" in the United States. But Eddington said that most Americans like to refinalize here as an extra protection.
Some countries provide modified birth certificates. Others, like England and Russia, don't.
Younger children are available in China, Korea, India and South America, Neilson said.
Even who can adopt varies among the countries. China welcomes single mothers, and there's no upper age limit to adopt young babies. Single mothers can adopt infants in India and older children in Colombia. They are also acceptable parents in Costa Rica and Ecuador, but they are not eligible to adopt children from Korea or Thailand.
One of the most significant differences is the cost of adopting a foreign child. Although agencies like WACAP generally charge the same fee for their services regardless of the country the child is coming from, some countries levy surcharges on adoptions, paper processing fees and other costs. Then there's the expense of traveling to countries that require it, and staying there for weeks.
And foreign adoptions simply don't happen until Immigration and Naturalization Service approve them. Getting the proper paperwork to bring a child into the United States depends on getting approval from he INS. And that depends on documentation like background checks, as well as intercountry cooperation (often slow and occasionally not forthcoming).
"I cannot believe how many hoops you have to jump through," said Norris. "INS treats us like we're the enemy."
It's not too complicated, Eddington said, "except delays with INS and visas and passports and those sorts of things. From a legal standpoint, anything out of Utah is considered foreign. From a foreign country, you need some sort of release from the country." And some, like Russia, require a completed adoption before they let the child out.
One hoop after another
Sidney and Barry Evans are waiting for INS approval so they can go to Hungary and get a child. So far, Sidney Evans said, "it has been one delay after another."
Her fingerprint card was lost. Then found. She thinks. Last week she was told the INS was waiting to hear whether she or Barry plan to travel to get the children, but she hasn't received correspondence the office says it sent her. And she's in a hurry because the rest of her travel group (people adopting through American Friends of Children, based in California) are going to be leaving in a few weeks.
Norris remembers the day she got her referral of a possible child she could adopt. She got minimal information: height, weight, birthday. And she had to make an immediate "yes" or "no" decision.
A couple of weeks later, she got a minute-long videotape of her daughter-to-be.
She didn't know what hurdles she would face adopting in a foreign country. She didn't know there'd be frustration and anxiety. She did know she wanted Ariel.
Like labor itself, once the pain has passed it becomes a memory. What's real is the little girl around whom her life centers.
"It's great," she says. "It has made all the difference in the world. Ariel's filled a void - a very, very big void.
"I'd recommend it."
Next: Mike and Lisa Larsen are losing the baby they have nurtured since he was 1 day old. Adoptions don't usually fail, but when they do, hearts are broken.