The one difference between World War II and the present police actions is the way in which we treat our enemies. Haiti is a good example.

Gen. Raoul Cedras is the loser. He is said to have led a junta that killed and terrorized thousands of people. He is also said to have stolen the country blind. Knowing all of this, the United States has decided to give him back his millions and also pay him rent for property he owns in Port-au-Prince.It's all part of the Clinton War Criminal Amnesty Program.

I couldn't help thinking that if poor Adolf Hitler hadn't done himself in at the end of his illustrious career, he might have come out OK.

If we had had a similar policy in 1945, as we have now concerning our enemies, this is what would have happened:

One of our people, possibly former President Herbert Hoover, would visit Hitler in his bunker.

"Adolf, I am here to persuade you to surrender."

"Never."

"Wait before you say no. We'll let you keep Berchtesgaden and all your properties in Berlin."

"What good are they?"

"We'll rent them from you at $40,000 a month. Our Treasury Department will put the funds in escrow in Switzerland."

"What about amnesty?"

"Of course you will have amnesty. We plan to grant it to everyone involved with the Nazis during World War II. As for you, Adolf, I am sure you had no idea what was going on with your Storm Troopers."

"I certainly did. Some of the best ideas came from me."

"Right. Now we have a bomber standing by to take you and Eva Braun to

Argentina." "What about all the furniture and artwork that I have acquired over the years?"

"The Eighth Air Force will fly all your belongings to you. "

Hoover could see that Hitler was getting interested. Adolf said, "I want a personal apology from Eisenhower for what he did to my troops on D-Day."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Hoover assured him.

View Comments

"I will not be pushed around," Hitler said. "When I lose a war, I expect

respect." "Everyone respects you. That's why they sent me to negotiate with you. We want you to get a square deal and, although you are our enemy, you deserve a pardon. How much rent do you want for the bunker?"

"As much as I can get. You won't find a view like it in all of Europe."

Fortunately, before closing the deal, Hitler ate a cream puff and keeled over dead. Unlike Gen. Cedras, he never enjoyed the fruits of his surrender.

Join the Conversation
Looking for comments?
Find comments in their new home! Click the buttons at the top or within the article to view them — or use the button below for quick access.