Dear Abby: My future husband and I are having a disagreement. He has asked me to sell all the jewelry I received from former boyfriends. (I was engaged to two of them.)
I think I should be able to keep the pieces I especially like. I returned both engagement rings but kept some 18-karat gold bracelets and a strand of pearls.Abby, these pieces have no sentimental value, but I don't want to sell them. Neither do I want to lie to my fiance, because that is no way to start a marriage.
To me, the most important piece of jewelry is the wedding ring I'll be wearing, but I'd like to keep the bracelets and pearls.
What would you do?
- Pennsylvania Bride
Dear Bride: Since your future husband is opposed to your wearing jewelry given to you by previous boyfriends, if I were you, I'd sell them to keep the peace. He should be more important to you than jewelry.
Dear Abby: You were too hasty in your warning about tattooed eyeliner. I have received several copies of your column from clients who have had MRIs done following permanent eyeliner, eyebrow and lip tattoos with absolutely no ill effects. When done correctly, these procedures have proven to be a safe alternative to traditional cosmetic makeup. I believe your response should have been: Get another opinion.
- Kathleen Ciampi,
Professional Dermagraphics,
Mount Prospect, Ill.
Dear Kathleen: I sought a second opinion. According to Dr. Livia Solti-Bohman, president-elect of the Los Angeles Radiological Society: "Much depends upon the location of the metal particles in the body and the size of the particles.
"There can be two problems for people with tattoos who enter magnetic fields: There have been reports of redness and edema in the tattooed eyelids of patients, which indicate irritation during the MRI. The other concern is whether the metal particles will interfere with the accuracy or clarity of the pictures."
Patients should be able to give informed consent, and in order to do so, they should be aware that there could be a problem, however minor. Thank you for writing. I stand by my answer.
Dear Abby: I am writing to you because I think your response could help many others with the same problem.
My father was a well-known and respected physician for many years. He retired when his own health declined, but he and my mother continue to function very well in their late 70s.
The problem: I cannot count the number of times old friends, hospital administrators and former patients who have known my father will boldly ask, "Is your father still alive?"
I don't want to be rude to these people, but how does one respond to such an awkward question? "Here is his telephone number - ask him"?
- Peter in San Francisco
Dear Peter: I think this is a perfectly natural question. Simply say, "Yes, he is, and I'd bet he'd like to hear from you. Why don't you call him or send him a card to say hello?"
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)