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FUMBLES ADD UP TO A WINNING WEDDING

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Dear Abby: You recently asked for wedding horror stories, so we are sending ours. The vocalist at the ceremony (the bride's sister) got so emotional in the middle of her solo, she choked up, burst into tears and was unable to sing another note.

Then, when the minister asked the friends and family to signify their blessings of the union, a little girl shrieked at the top of her lungs, "No!"In the middle of the outdoor reception, rain began to fall. Immediately following the ceremony, the groom had to change from his tuxedo into his street clothes because his best man, who was going to return the groom's tux to the rental place, got an emergency phone call and had to leave early. The two bartenders got drunk, left the bar, and started dancing with the female guests. Then everybody started helping themselves to the liquor.

And guess what? We've never had a better time at a wedding. It all depends on your attitude. If you're uptight about every little thing that doesn't go as planned, you'll have a horrible time. Life is like that - totally unpredictable, and much more fun if you just take things as they come.

- Jan and Haddayr in Minneapolis

Dear Jan and Haddayr: There are times when a sense of humor can turn what some would call a tragedy into a comedy. And this was one of them. Congratulations!

Dear Abby: This letter is in response to the woman who was contemplating a Caesarean section in order to avoid the pain of childbirth. Believe me, you do not avoid pain with a Caesarean. I know. I had a normal delivery with my first child after 12 hours of painful labor, and a Caesarean with my second child.

If I had had the Caesarean first, I doubt that I would have had a second baby. While the pain of normal childbirth was no picnic, when it was over, it was over, and the recovery time was relatively short (about two weeks).

With the Caesarean, my recovery period was eight weeks, and I was much more incapacitated and in far more pain than I had been with my natural birth. Plus, I have an ugly eight-inch scar across my lower tummy that is sore - and itches from time to time.

Trust me. Natural is better.

- Had It Both Ways

in Scottsdale, Ariz.

Dear Had It: I believe you. And I have a stack of letters on my desk reiterating your testimony.

Dear Abby: Recently we received a wedding invitation. Afterward, we found out that there were two very different invitations mailed to guests.

The first one was to attend a church ceremony followed by a lovely dinner.

The second invitation was to attend a dance, with cake, punch and a cash bar. (That's the one we received.)

It seems that the bridal couple were only interrested only in getting as many wedding gifts as possible.

What is your opinion?

- Second-Rate Guest

Dear Guest: Same as yours.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)