Ronald T. Williams' world is a dangerous place. The way he tells it, the convicted three-time killer has been injured by hair conditioner, yogurt, a TV set, shaving cream and a pain reliever.
But a judge doesn't believe any of it. He dismissed the inmate's product-liability lawsuits and ordered Williams' computer confiscated."If plaintiff were to be believed - and he is not - every consumer product to which he has been exposed has caused him serious bodily injury," U.S. District Judge John S. Martin Jr. wrote Monday.
The judge said it would appear that Williams is even more unfortunate than Joe Btfsplk, the "Li'l Abner" character who is followed by a little black cloud.
The 50-year-old prisoner at the West Virginia Penitentiary must surrender the computer that helped him pursue "fraud and harassment with minimal effort," and all his outgoing mail must read, "This prisoner has been enjoined from asserting fraudulent personal injury claims," Martin said.
Williams, who represented himself, could not be reached for comment. Officials at the prison said they do not pass along phone calls to inmates.
His suing spree began in the 1980s. He claimed the hair conditioner burned his head; glass in the yogurt cut his mouth and paralyzed his lip; the TV set caught fire and burned his clothes; the shaving cream can exploded in his face; and the pain reliever severely damaged his liver and left him in a coma.
Williams' medical records show no sign of such injuries, Martin said. Williams filed the lawsuits in New York because the companies are based there.