Dear Abby: At the top of my Christmas wish list last year was my desire to give my husband the nicotine patch. He refused me flat-out!
When we were first married more than 40 years ago, I didn't mind his smoking, but now that we are in our 70s, I have respiratory problems as well as eye problems, and the smoke is very irritating. He refuses to believe that secondhand smoke is injurious to others. Our grandchildren don't want to be near him; his sister and her husband refuse to stay here overnight or go on trips with us.I enjoy taking walks in the crisp Maine air, only to be assaulted with a wall of smoke when I come home. I'm really a home person, but lately I try to be out of the house as much as possible.
We rarely watch television together, as I leave the room when he lights up. I miss the closeness we once had.
Not only did he refuse the nicotine patch, he didn't get me a Christmas gift again this year - not even a card. But somehow he always finds the extra money for cigarettes.
We both read Dear Abby faithfully, and I thought if you published this, he might recognize himself and it might also help to open the eyes of other smokers.
- Smoked Out in Maine
Dear Smoked out: Here's your letter; I hope it helps. When will people realize that smoking is addictive? I have been playing on that one string ever since I started writing this column in 1956, and I have literally begged youngsters not to start smoking - it's too hard to quit. And secondhand smoke is not only irritating, it's damaging to others.
Dear Abby: Recently in your column, there was a letter from a woman about not donating clothing items to charity if they are stained, torn or out of style.
She meant well; however, I hope that people don't just throw away the used clothing. I recycle clothing by buying thrift shop clothes and using the buttons, ribbons, lace and other good parts for art projects or for decorating other clothes. An applique can easily hide a stain or tear, and long pants with holes in the knees can be made into shorts. Fabric alone can be used in a variety of ways, and our landfills don't need any unnecessary trash.
I'll bet your readers would agree and, perhaps, come up with many other ideas about recycling used clothes. Many of those "stains" come out when properly washed, you know.
- Janet in Boynton Beach, Fla.
Dear Janet: Your point is well-taken. One person's trash can be another person's treasure.
Dear Abby: Being an extensive traveler, I have my own amusing story about customs officials. Returning to the United States, I noticed that each fourth tourist was being searched. I was relieved as I was not to be - but lo, the lady in front of me said, "I have been flying for 18 hours straight. If you open this suitcase, one of us is going to be terribly embarrassed!" He motioned her past, and I dumped everything from all my bags for inspection.
Upon leaving the area, I spotted her at a restaurant table and quipped, "For once, how fortunate to be female!" With that, she opened the case, where two complete 24-piece settings of sterling flatware lay. She said, "Like I said, if he had opened that suitcase, one of us would have been terribly embarrassed." Sign me
. . . Dover, Del.