Dear Dr. Tightwad - My 7-year-old daughter got a $5 bill in a birthday card from her grandmother and promptly lost the money.

I let her do extra chores to earn back the $5, but then I had second thoughts.Should I have made her put the money in the bank so she wouldn't have lost it in the first place?

Answer - Dr. T can be a softy, too, so you get partial credit for the chore strategy (and the sympathy).

If it ever happens again, however, try a third solution: Swallow hard and let your daughter suffer the loss.

You were right not to make her put the money in the bank. Even for a 7-year-old, $5 is a relatively small amount, and she needs to learn how to manage money.

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Losing it should have been a hard yet valuable lesson, but you eased the blow by giving her a second chance.

You don't want your daughter to end up in the same position as a young woman of Dr. T's acquaintance named Dana, who was given a $500 check by her grandmother to buy clothes when she went away to college and promptly misplaced the check.

Afraid to 'fess up to grandma, Dana talked her mother (a real softy) into lending her the $500. If grandma ever missed the uncashed check, she never let on.

Mom might have been left holding an empty handbag on this one, but Dana did follow through on her promise to repay the money. And she claims to have learned her lesson and reformed: "Now I'm so desperate for money that I cash every check right away."

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