Dear Abby: Last summer, we sold our home and built a new one across town. As soon as it was furnished, we invited my brother and his wife over to see it. It was just before Christmas, so we had our 9-foot tree decorated; we also had outside lights, and various holiday decorations throughout the house.

We invited them for 4 o'clock; they arrived an hour late - walked in the front door, through the living room, and out the back door without a single comment about our house, pool or Christmas decorations. After an embarrassing one-hour conversation - mostly about their children and grandchildren - they stood up, said goodbye and drove off.Abby, this is the same couple whose only comment on seeing our first brand-new car was, "Where's your license plate?"

Abby, we would like to know how to deal with these people, since we must see them on a weekly basis.

- Hurt and Confused

Dear Hurt: Some people cannot bring themselves to compliment anyone; even a grudging "How nice" would ring hollow. It's obvious that your brother and sister-in-law are not as delighted with your prosperity as you are.

Expect nothing, and you won't be disappointed.

Dear Abby: My husband (I'll call him Mac) and I have been married for two years; it's my first marriage and Mac's third. Mac has an 8-year-old son from a previous marriage who visits him on a regular basis. When his son is with us, it is very clear that his son comes first. Mac says that's how it was before we met, and he will not adjust just because he married me.

Our problems started when I asked him to take a weekend off so he and I could spend some time together - just the two of us. His response: "Don't get in the way of my relationship with my son - blood is thicker than water."

This has initiated a series of problems in our marriage and has caused me to feel resentful and jealous of his son.

We have tried marriage counseling, but it was too expensive and left many issues unresolved - the primary issue being priorities. Mac puts his son, his passion for sports and his work before me. I've always felt that in marriage, the couple comes first.

Before I invest any more of my life in this marriage, I would like your opinion.

- Having Second Thoughts

Dear Second Thoughts: Give Mac an "A" for honesty; then ask yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who ranks his marriage to you in fourth place.

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Also, give counseling another chance; low-cost counseling is available. A referral can be obtained by calling Family Services, listed in the white pages of your telephone directory.

Dear Abby: I never knew how to handle Mother's Day when I had both a mother and a mother-in-law, and am now a mother and grandmother myself. This was further complicated by the fact that my mother and mother-in-law were very dissimilar persons.

I resolved the situation by having my husband spend Mother's Day with his mother doing what she wanted to do - and I would plan something that both my mother and I would enjoy doing. We invited my daughters to join us if they wanted to, which they didn't. Sign this . . .

- Mother's Day, No Problem

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