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"POOR STAR" RESTAURANTS

Fitness Magazine recently reviewed several celebrity-owned eateries - rating them for the healthfulness of their food.

One of the restaurants owned by the grand triumverate of Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Patrick Swayze - Planet Hollywood - got this critique:

"Belongs to a different galaxy in which no one worries about fat and cholesterol."

The worst of the crop is The Big Food Diner in Iowa, owned by Roseanne and Tom Arnold. The "joint" features a greasy blue-plate special called the "loose meat sandwich" that will burst the seams on any tummy tuck.

Ingredients? Shredded hamburger meat crowned with a glob of faux neon cheddar plopped onto a hamburger bun.

Abysmal, my dear Pepto.

BEYOND BUNS

Here are some alternate breads that make dandy "holders" for sandwich fillings or barbecued meats and veggies.

Pita bread

French or sourdough rolls

Pumpernickel rolls

English muffins

Bagels

Foccacia - (La Provence, across from the Cottonwood Mall in Holladay's Creekside Shops makes this delicious pizza-type bread with seasonings.)

Tortillas

Dollar bills (for sanitary purposes, launder first . . . on second thought . . .)

PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG

Mr. Redenbacher's latest microwaveable popcorn innovation - the RedenBIGGer Bag - gives those of us who want MORE, MORE, MORE.

This new bag is not only larger than other microwave popcorn bags, but it's also designed with a double fold in the side panels to allow the bag to expand and pop more kernels than ever before.

Orville's Gourmet Guys say this new bag reduces the number of unpopped kernels by 45 percent.

It's politically incorrect to call the above-mentioned unpopped items "Old Maids."

Let's have another contest. Send in your suggestions for what we should call unpopped kernels of corn. A lovely prize will be awarded to the winner.

Send it to:

Jean Williams, Food Editor

P.O. Box 1257

Salt Lake City UT 84110

Here's the first entry:

Zucchini.

PRESS RELEASE OF THE WEEK:

From: Hormel Foods

Topic: SPAM Jam family picnic

Reason: Official commemoration of the 5 billionth can of SPAM luncheon meat.

Events: Five-Mile "Hog Jog," SPAM jugglers, human bowling, gelatin jump and musical entertainment by the SPAMETTES.