In bedrooms across America, Bill Clinton is a nightly visitor.
He plays his sax. Enjoys a Scotch on the rocks, no twist. Whips up a little snack or gets a little loving - at least until the alarm clock rings.Call him President Dream-wea-ver. Clinton is a fixture in the dreams of some constituents, and one of those dreamers recently assembled a book of those nocturnal appearances called "Dreams of Bill."
Julia Anderson-Miller, a publishing house art director, dreamed of Clinton giving her a neck massage. When she awoke her neck felt better, and she decided to find out if anybody else had dreamed of Bill. They had.
"We fell in love and had great sex," one dreamer wrote of the president. "He was married to Hillary and I was single. Al Gore yelled at me and told me I was a homewrecker!!"
Or this: "He was trying to be a `really cool' president and was hosting `Saturday Night Live' and wearing jeans, a black vest and no shirt."
Or maybe this: "I dreamed Bill made me a ham sandwich from a beautiful sugar-cured whole ham. Nice spicy mustard, real vine-ripened tomato and green lettuce. He handed it to me on a china plate and said, `That'll be $116, please.' "
These and 267 other dreams were sent to Anderson-Miller after she and her husband placed ads in newspapers around the country asking, "Have you ever dreamt of BILL CLINTON???"
Twenty-three people had "visited" Bill in the White House. Nine kissed Bill. Seven had dinner with Bill. One kissed Hillary.
Then there were the erotic encounters. Eight women slipped into the arms of Morpheus, and wound up in the arms of Clinton.
When the Bill of their dreams wasn't being president, he held an assortment of other positions - and none of them were dream jobs.
"I was on line at a buffet-style restaurant - the type you find on the New Jersey Turnpike - and Bill Clinton was working the cash register," wrote one dreamer.
Bill was employed at Dominick's grocery store, wearing a "Bubba" nameplate. He was a traveling light-bulb salesman. A veterinarian. A priest, saying Mass. A clown at a childrens' party.
It's not all sweet dreams: "I fell asleep and when I awoke I noticed I had been stabbed repeatedly. I called my (grandmother). I told her I had been stabbed, and she said to me, `I warned you about him, and I asked, `Who?'
"She replied, `Bill Clinton. He's been going around stabbing people who have relatives in Arkansas.' "
Good night, Bill.