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DESPERATION IS A TURNOFF, SO TRY TO GET ON WITH LIFE

SHARE DESPERATION IS A TURNOFF, SO TRY TO GET ON WITH LIFE

Question: There is this one guy I truly love, and we broke up about two months and 12 days ago, and I really have a lot of feelings for him.

I was just wondering how could I get him back or what should I do since he went on with his love life, but he still communicates with me like he wants me back.Can you please give me any advice?

From Desperately Need Him Back

Answer: From Pat and David: You don't say how old you are, why the two of you broke up, or whose idea it was. That makes it difficult to give you specific advice.

"Desperation" usually isn't a very pretty sight. In fact, it's often a turnoff. And you don't want him to think you're sitting around just waiting for him.

This may not be what you want to hear, but we suggest that you stop marking the days off the calendar since you were together and start counting on the kinds of things YOU can do to get back to having a good time and being an interesting person.

One other thing - you say that he's moved on, but he's still communicating. That doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to get back together. It could just mean that he'd still like to be friends.

The following is a reprint from a column we ran a few months ago. This time the letter came from a girl whose ex-boyfriend couldn't let go. Maybe her letter and the student panel's response will help you understand the other person's possible point of view.

Question: My ex-boyfriend - who I was in love with and am no longer - is still in love with me. We are still trying to be friends, but it's hard because he's jealous of the others that I'm dating. How can I get him to stop being attracted to me?

- Brenda, 17

Answer: From panelists Leviticus, Lisa and Sarah: You should tell your ex-boyfriend how you feel toward him. If he continues to harass you after you've made your feelings known, you should avoid any contact with him.

If the situation arises where you are confronted by him, you should be polite but reserved. When you see the jealous boyfriend in the hall or if he tries to make contact over the phone, your best course of action would be to remind him of your terms of separation and leave quickly.

Question: Why do girls make you think they like you and then when you also show interest, they seem to get tired of you?

- Stu, 15

Answer: From panelists Cory, Matt, Missy: Girls are confusing, and you will never understand them. If you are only 15 years old, you have a long way to go, so don't get worried yet.

Get in the game, Stu. Life is a big game and you need to stop questioning it and start playing a little better. Girls make you think they like you and then dog on you when you show affection for the same reason that guys seem to like girls and then lie about it. Kids like to mess with each others' heads.

Maybe you're looking at the wrong girls, too.

What's up: "Rock the System," a nonpartisan guide to health-care reform for young Americans by the Rock the Vote Education Fund:

Why should teenagers and young adults care about health-care reform? "Here's the bottom line," say the authors of this booklet. "WE HAVE TO PAY. Our generation could have to pay the health bills for the next 50 years, under rules the government is making up now."

Rock the System is packed with information. It gives you an overview of health-care reform. It looks at the need for treatment of substance abuse, mental health, pregnancy, AIDS, violence and STDs - all health-care issues facing young Americans - and how such treatment might be covered.

That's a lot of information, and the print is pretty small. But the graphics are great, and the charts comparing the various health plans now under consideration are easy to read and understand.

We recommend Rock the System for anybody near voting age and for anybody who pays taxes.

The booklet is available in both English and Spanish. With support from the National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM), 100,000 copies will be distributed in Tower Records stores across the country. Or you can get a free copy just by calling 1-800-ROCK-VOTE.