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Dear Abby: My sister-in-law had to have a gallbladder operation, so she told her doctor that while she was on the operating table and under the anesthetic, she'd like for him to pierce her ears. He said he'd be glad to do it.

Well, here's the problem: He's a very good surgeon for gallbladder operations, but he isn't too good at piercing ears, and he really loused up her ears. (The "holes" weren't in the same place on both ears, and they also became infected.) He said he was sorry, but he hadn't pierced any ears in 30 years; but after they healed, he would be glad to do them over again.I told her she would have to be crazy to let that surgeon pierce her ears again, and she should go to a doctor who does a lot of that kind of work and have it done right.

She said she paid $600 for the gallbladder operation, and she wasn't about to pay another doctor to pierce her ears; besides, she didn't want to hurt her doctor's feelings. I'd like your opinion.

- Sis

Dear Sis: Having spoken your mind, say no more. It's hard to believe that a surgeon who is "very good" at gallbladder surgery would "louse up" something so elementary as ear-piercing. The placement of the holes was the doctor's fault, but the infection could have been due to her carelessness.

Dear Abby: My husband just turned 60. We have been married for 18 years. A year ago he took up with a widow he used to go with 40 years ago. She broke up with him when the doctor told him he would have to have his foot amputated. She said she couldn't bear the thought of marrying a man who couldn't dance. She married someone else and moved out of town.

When her husband died last year, she moved back to town and made contact with my husband. That's when he started seeing her behind my back.

My husband took a week's vacation, and he and this lady went off together. Meanwhile, I was home laying the bricks for our patio.

When I found all this out, I told him to make a choice: her or me. He said he "loved" me and was only having "fun" with her.

How much more "fun" should I let him have before I kick him out?

- Stay-At-Home Wife

Dear Stay: I would say that he has had more "fun" than he's entitled to already. Tell him to shape up or ship out.

Dear Abby: What level of intelligence would you estimate is possessed by a couple who permits their gross, hairy, slobbering English sheepdog to run riot through a buffet dinner party in their home? The dozen or so guests had all worn their finest clothes and spent most of the evening trying to hold off the lumbering brute.

The proud owners seemed impervious to hints that would have penetrated steel plate. Maybe if they read this they will catch on.

- Sopping Wet and Covered With Dog Hair in Hartford

Dear Readers: Shortly after this letter was published, I received the following:

Dear Abby: A question for "Sopping Wet and Covered With Dog Hair in Hartford": Was this the dinner party at which the hostess said, "I'm sorry there are no napkins, but from time to time a large shaggy dog will pass among you"?

- Hughie in Bloomfield

Dear Abby: After 20 years of marriage, my husband left me for another woman. He married her and lived many years with this second wife. Now he is dead.

People are always asking me, "Are you a widow, divorced or what?"

I never know for sure how to answer them. Please let me know.

- Stumped in Pasco, Wash.

Dear Stumped: You are a divorcee. The woman to whom he was married at the time of his death is his widow.

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