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The crime bill finally passed and I feel safer already, don't you? The night that it passed, I set my burglar alarm a full one hour later than usual.

- The Republicans hammered away at the huge amounts of pork contained in the bill. Objecting to the use of the word were the people who sell literal pork - the kind you eat. They want us to know that it's leaner now.- If everyone hadn't been so tired, the Democrats probably would have slipped the health-care plan into the crime bill. It might have passed.