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Now you see them, now you don't: A Utah Department of Transportation official, commenting on the bad traffic situation at Utah Valley State College, thought maybe more students could make use of the Center Street freeway exit and come up through the campus's north entrance.

When he was informed that the Center Street exit is usually at least as backed up as the 1200 South exit with incoming northbound traffic, he said, "Well, those aren't college students. They're all going to Mountain View High School."Yes, well, perhaps that's true, but that doesn't mean the vehicles planted in front of you are any less real when you're trying to get to the state college. Nor does that make them less obnoxious and more likely to go away.

A good piece of change: According to news reports, the Utah Transit Authority is raising bus fare to 75 cents a ride.

Hip, hip, hooray - and finally!

Everyone who's ridden the bus much has been wondering when the fare would go to the next logical level from 65 cents.

It's much easier to find three quarters together than it is to find two quarters, a dime and nickel.

Our one gump: The response to our call for gumpisms was under-whelming, to say the least.

Probably they're too hard or most of us need to see the movie again to get with it here.

But Orem's Planning Commission chairman, Berdean Jarman, came up with a pretty good one without really trying.

When residents wanted to know how the Alpine School District will solve the parking problems for the new north Orem high school, Jar-man said, "Parking will never be solved."

We think he's right on this one.

A leg to stand on: No one's dropped by yet to claim the artificial leg left behind in the Pleasant Grove post office.

It's been sitting - make that standing - around for more than three weeks.

We're left wondering: How did the prosthesis get there? Did somebody accidentally unbuckle it to scratch and leave it behind? Isn't somebody wondering by now where the other shoe (and calf and knee) is? The Nike on the leg was a part of a $100 pair. That's worth retrieving even if you don't want your leg back.

Perhaps somewhere there's a Prince Charming bearing a size 11 Nike roaming about looking for a single-legged, big-footed princess.

We have some theories. But we'd rather hear yours. Please call, write or fax us your brilliant ideas for publication in a future column.

Mountain retreat: Draper city officials were a little wary meeting a group of Utah County residents opposed to a massive housing project on Traverse Ridge above Alpine. The land sits in Utah County but was annexed into Draper seven years ago.

"We come over here as friends," Lynn Kimball, Draper Planning Commission chairman, told the crowd of about 50 people. "Our wives and children are expecting us to return in the same form as we left them."

Alpine and Highland residents could say the same thing about Traverse Ridge. They'd like it left in the form that it is.

Sign o' the week: Spotted at IFA in Payson:

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Power Equipment

Blow Out

Since when did power tools become a school accessory? And who'd want to buy blown-out power equipment anyway?