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DISCLOSURES, DISCLOSURES EVERYWHERE

Show and tell: In a recent Orem City Council meeting dealing with the new high school for north Orem, everyone seemed to have something to disclose.

Councilman Kelvin Clayton started things. "I work for the Alpine School District, but I will be voting on this issue," said Clayton."My firm is employed by the Alpine School District, and I will be voting," said Councilman Stephen K. Sandstrom.

"My CPA firm does independent auditing for the Alpine School District, and I will be voting," added Councilman Timothy Christensen.

Not to be left out, Councilman Steve Heinz put in the fact that he went to school in the Alpine School District.

And Mayor Stella Welsh confessed that all of her eight children attended Alpine School District schools.

Providing counterpoint, Gary Keetch, district vice president of administrative services, stood and prefaced his remarks with, "I have to disclose that I was born and raised in Orem."

Furthermore, Keetch said the mayor's mother was the office secretary in his high school for the years he attended Pleasant Grove High School.

"We just have conflicts all over the place," Welsh said.

Misfits: We've been wondering about some of the incongruities we've come across the past few weeks.

For instance, Utah Valley State College is offering a class on financial planning with the focus on how one can get out of debt and avoid it forever. The hitch we see is that it costs $70 per person to register for the class. Credit cards are welcome.

Then there's the banquet celebrating low-fat fare where Provo School District won an award for reducing the fat in school lunches. The menu included cheesecake and lemon meringue pie for dessert.

And what about the 63-year-old man recently accused of shoplifting and reselling the very books that admonish people not to steal: LDS Church quadruple combination scriptures that include the Bible?

Hardware to swallow: Chris Lott of Provo sent us a gumpism "sprung from a bitter place" in his heart, according to the fax.

"Stupid is as stupid allows four hardware stores to be built within a mile of each other," Lott wrote, referring to Orem granting conditional-use permits to Eagle Hardware, HomeBase, Home Depot and an expanded Ernst Home & Nursery all on 1300 South between the freeway and 200 East.

C'mon Chris, it might work. The Titanic stayed afloat for a few days.

Talking dirty: Somebody told us some of our problems with the phone lines transmitting our data between Utah County and Salt Lake City are caused by having dirty lines.

The same source said it was going to cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to clean them out.

What does that mean exactly? How does one clean a phone line? Stop cussing? Quit spitting? Breathe easier? We don't get it.

Does anybody know who can educate us?

No redress: Judges want people who step into their courtrooms to be what they consider properly dressed. A sign in Judge Joseph Dimick's court in Orem doesn't mince words.

"If you are sitting in this courtroom wearing a hat, tank top or shorts, you are about to go to jail."