If I focus on what can go wrong in my life, it usually does. If I look for the good and stay focused on what is going right, I find my life improves dramatically.
A friend tells a story about a woman whose car broke down. She decided to ask her neighbor if she could borrow his car to go to an important meeting. On the way to his house, she started thinking that he might say "No." She even conjured a really clear image of him refusing her request. The image became so real that by the time the neighbor answered the door, she was furious. She scowled at him and yelled, "Keep your old car - you couldn't beg me to use it."Like the woman with the broken car, I believe I create much of what happens to me by how I interpret what's going on around me.
While it may sound hokey, the most effective way I've found for keeping an upbeat attitude is my thankful list. So far that's 442 things. And the list is still growing. My list starts with the people I love like my niece, my nephew, and my sister, Janis, as well as my closest friends. I've also got my work on the list, as well as each opportunity I have for making a difference. Then I've listed being in shape - I can bench press 75 pounds. I end the list with little things; like the light that shines in my bedroom window and wakes me each day and sitting on the balcony of my apartment and having tea in the morning.
Reading the list or adding something to it brightens my attitude. I've often wondered why it works. And although I don't have a scientific explanation, I think that negative thoughts alienate me from my heart. When I'm not in touch with my loving - life is the pits.
I don't mean to sound simplistic. I know there are times in life when something painful has happened and sadness and grief are appropriate. But I've found that my negative attitudes don't usually have a lot to do with a significant life event; they are the result of the way I handle the hundreds of situations I encounter each week, from broken cars to missed meetings. Staying positive, keeping my heart open, is like maintaining my ideal weight. Not only do I need to exercise, be thankful, but I also have to eliminate the things from my diet that pull my attitude down. Those things include:
- Gossip: Bathing my mind in gossip is a lot like taking a shower in sewer water. I change the subject when someone starts gossiping and avoid those people who insist on doing it around me.
- Fear and worry: When I began to fear the future and worry about about what could happen, my real enemy is not what might happen, it's the fear I'm creating. It paralyzes my ability to find creative solutions.
- Being resentful: If I keep focused on what happened yesterday; I'm not available for the good things that might happen today. I find forgiveness essential to my emotional health.
- Anger: When I feel myself getting angry, I work on getting rid of the anger and that doesn't mean dumping it on someone else. It means handling it inside through exercise and humor.
So spend a week outlining what's good about your life, what you're thankful for, and work to cut back on gossip, fear, worry and anger - I guarantee you a good week.