During the demise of communism in Russia, a "scorecard" was needed to keep track of towns and leaders. Cartographers changed maps, sometimes daily, as the boundaries shifted in countries and districts. The name USSR was suddenly not "politically correct" as the social changes were noted.
The words "politically correct" have become buzz words in our social framework, too. It is no surprise when someone decides to spoof the "politically correct" terms used in fairy stories. Traditional literature has been open target for years with fractured tales such as "The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales" by Jon Scieszk and Lane Smith (Viking, 1992) and a takeoff on the Three Bears in "Somebody and the Three Blairs" by Marilyn Holhurst (Orchard, 1990). Benjamin Hoff's "The Tao of Pooh" and "The Te of Piglet," (both Dutton) are satires on A.A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh, one of the most popular classics in children's literature. That was not the first time Pooh was mocked in good humor. An English professor from Berkeley, Calif., Frederick C. Crews, previously wrote essays called "The Pooh Perplex," highbrow literary criticism juxtaposed to Winnie-the-Pooh, which parodies both English literature and the children's story.POLITICALLY CORRECT BEDTIME STORIES: MODERN TALES FOR OUR LIFE AND TIMES by James Finn Garner (Macmillan, 1994, $8.95) was first excerpted in Playboy magazine, and the raves were second only to an original bagel recipe. This is a collection of 13 familiar tales that have been told and retold for generations. For example, "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Cinderella" and "Snow White" have been altered to suit many cultures, finding themes appropriate for teaching a lesson or just plain entertainment. Now, Garner has altered them to fit our 1990s "communication-conscious" populace who hesitate to call the mail carrier a mailman, or the sanitation expert the garbage man. He has avoided all kinds of "isms" - racism, feminism, sexism, humanism, culturalism, nationalism, ageism - and terms adjusted so that the short, tall, weak, strong, handicapped, ethnically diverse, minority and majority do not feel discrimination. Well not quite! He has used the format of the tales to lampoon the manner in which we are wary of calling a female "woman" (he uses woymn) or a deaf person anything except "hearing impaired."
As "Little Red Riding Hood" carried a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house and "sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch" she didn't fear the forest because she "was confident enough in her own budding sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did not intimidate her." The wolf, of course, reached the house before the child, pulls on Grandma's nightgown ignoring what might look like a "tendency toward cross-dressing." In the end, the woodchopper-person is dismissed and called, "Sexist! Speciest! How dare you assume that womyn and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!"
When the Emperor realizes that the weavers have tricked him out of his new clothes, he parades nude while "endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle," which the whole village similarly chose "as Nature had intended."
After the Three Little Pigs defeat the wolf, they "set up a model social democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone." The author is cautious here towards animal rights when he notes "The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story."
In each tale there's a twist that spoofs our present lifestyle. Rumpelstiltskin's identity is discovered because "you are still wearing your name badge from Little People's Empowerment Seminar," and the Three Billy Goats Gruff (who are really codependent) do not overgraze their valley and keep "their ecological footprints as small as possible."
My two favorites are Rupunzel, daughter of "an economically disadvantaged tinker and his wife" who is taken to the tower by a "kindness-impaired" witch whose garden was "a nauseating attempt to impose human notions of order onto Nature; and Cinderella, a young "wommon," who lived with a cruel "mother-of-step" and attended the prince's ball as he "was celebrating his exploitation of the dispossessed and marginalized peasantry." In both of these the girl finds independence: Rupunzel cuts off her hair for a fund-raising auction before beginning a career as a singer in coffee houses and art galleries, and Cinderella sets up comfortable practical clothes for womyn called CinderWear where "through self-determination and clever marketing, they all - even the mother- and sisters-of-step - lived happily ever after."
While Garner attempted to "develop meaningful literature free from bias and purged from the influences of a flawed cultural past" (that's his tongue-in-cheek description) he has bombarded us with the silliness that this terminology suggests. I know few female administrators that resist being called "chairman" or short women who need to be addressed as "height-impaired." If I find some, I will recommend "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories."
Garner admits that a sequel will follow that will include "The Duckling That Was Judged on Its Personal Merits and Not on Its Physical Appearance." I can hardly wait!