GHOST ACADEMY: We couldn't help but notice from our bird's-eye perch that tours of the old Academy Square building were being offered over the weekend.

There was a big lighted sign with an arrow pointing the way in. We were wondering if this is Provo's twisted version of a Halloween spook alley and if the sign shouldn't say, "Enter at your own risk."We do know those who want to go through the crumbling building were asked to be in good health, wear sturdy shoes and sign a waiver that absolves the city of Provo from any claims if injury should result.

Add a couple of goblins and you've got your scary scene, right?

Some like it hot: Alpine City Mayor Pro Tem Kent Hanson had a ticklish situation to discuss the other night in council meeting.

On the list handed to him it said - and he read - "Talk about sex on the firefighters."

Hanson paused, wondering what it meant.

"That's sexual harassment," explained the city recorder.

Hanson replied, "I guess a couple of guys down there need to be straightened out."

Say again?

Almost perfect: Orem resident Ralph Zobell faxed us a note wondering if his son's suggestion for the name of a new high school in Orem beats our "Baugh Humbugs."

Last week we suggested Alpine School District's new school be named after Superintendent Steven C. Baugh.

Ralph's son, Brett, who'll attend the school in a couple of years, thinks NearPerfect High would be a good name. The mascot would be an angel.

Does it beat our idea? You be the judge. But given WordPer-fect's merger with Novell would NearNovell High be more appropriate? The mascot could be a software pirate.

Sale of the century: Provo City's surplus property list contains some interesting items, including a few you wouldn't expect a city to own.

The three barbecue grills and pingpong table must have made for some great summer parties. But what was the propane lantern for? Employee camping trips? The leather love seat sounds cozy. Maybe the no-parking sign on the list goes with the love seat.

One could equip a house with that and the dishwasher, dish rack, clothes washer, dryer and refrigerator up for sale.

We're interested in the 11 single and one double parking meter. We'd like to put one in front of the reserved Deseret News parking stalls at our office. At least we'd make a few bucks when someone steals our spot.

Secondhand smoke: Our reviewer gasped a few times when he discovered the Utah Valley State College production of "Agnes of God" included a couple of scenes where an actress chain-smoked through the drama.

It seemed strange to us that a local show put on in a public "no smoking" building would include the opportunity for the audience to breath secondhand fumes.

And besides that, doesn't anyone remember how the fire alarm went off last year during "Lion in Winter" and brought the production to a screeching halt?

Quote o' the week: "When someone has to make a decision here, I can usually be found, unfortunately. That's how I keep ending up here." - three-term Goshen City Councilman Howard Morgan.