Dear Abby: This is for "Flash in New Hampshire," who was all bent out of shape because a minister refused to allow flash photos during a wedding ceremony to capture those precious moments on film.
My minister and I fully support that minister's refusal. No sacred religious ceremony should be disrupted by flash photos - they are an intrusion upon the dignity of the occasion.As for understanding the need to prevent guests from doing this, a professional photographer must take many shots, thus intruding on the ceremony so that one or two memorable moments may be captured.
We are in the personal intrusion/information age when photographers and journalists tend to become part of the ceremony, thus detracting from the intimacy of the occasion.
If "Flash" thinks so little of the religious beliefs of the couple, perhaps a justice of the peace would have been a more appropriate option. Your suggestion to "shop around" for another church or elope shows a disturbing lack of understanding of the deep meaning of a religious ceremony.
What will be next? Capturing the last moments of a person's life on film? Or, heaven forbid, the actual birth of a child? I suggest that "Flash" should try another business.
- No Flash, Please
Dear No Flash: Both the "last moments of a person's life" and the actual birth of a child have already been captured on film. What can we expect next? The conception?
Dear Abby: This is in response to "From the Old School in Florida," who were upset that their granddaughter had become a stripper. You told them to try to be tolerant and that jobs for young people are hard to come by. You were absolutely right.
I am 23 years old and have been dancing topless for three years. Becoming a topless dancer was not an easy decision for me, but I have never regretted it. I had goals that my parents could not afford to help me attain.
Dancing is not a career for me - just a stepping-stone to help me secure my future. It has enabled me to travel across America and see places I would not otherwise have been able to. I can afford to work out at a good gym and eat properly. Best of all, I am a pre-med student with a 3.5 grade average. I will be the first doctor in the family, and my parents are very proud.
I hope people realize that "strippers" are not all immoral bimbos. Many of us are trying to achieve our goals and move forward in life.
- Dancing in New Orleans
Dear Dancing: Thank you for your perspective. I hope "From the Old School" will read your letter and take heart.
Dear Abby: Marie E. Limmer of Baltimore asked, "Would it be the worst thing in the world if he (a husband) were fat and paunchy?"
I can testify that it can be. Last summer, my husband died of an abdominal aortic aneurysm when the main artery from his heart ruptured. He was fat and paunchy.
- A Nevada Widow
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
1995 Universal Press Syndicate
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All of the Dear Abby columns since 1988 are available online. Search for DEAR ABBY in the Lifestyle section and the Deseret News archives.