Dear Abby: I've been dreading the Christmas party season since last December. It's that way every year.
My husband, "Frank," has nothing in common with my co-workers. He's not a very social person and is not very good at small talk. To be honest, it's embarrassing to take him to an office party. He doesn't "connect" with anyone, and I'm sure he finds the people there as boring as they find him. Unfortunately, he has never offered to stay home. (I wish he would!)I hate to hurt his feelings by telling him he's an embarrassment in social situations. We've been married for many years. He is a loving husband, sensitive and intelligent - but socially, he's a dud.
- Frank's Wife
Dear Wife: This year, why not offer Frank the option of making other plans on the night of your office party?
If he chooses to attend with you, however, do some role playing in advance. Rehearse several topics he can discuss with your co-workers.
If the problem is shyness, books on shyness are available at your local library. You might also encourage him to join Toastmasters Inter-national. (Toastmasters is an organization that has had much success in helping people overcome shyness.)
Keep in mind that not all people are party animals. More important than having a glittering jewel to show off at office parties is having a sensitive, intelligent partner the other 364 nights a year.
Dear Abby: In response to the friend of the woman whose daughter has an incontinent dog, I have one too. "Candy" is 13 years old now.
It started about six months ago. We took her to our regular vet and a holistic vet. Both recommended a drug called "phenyl-propanolamine." Given orally three times a day, it does the trick 99 percent of the time. I strongly urge the woman with the incontinent dog to ask her vet about this "miracle drug."
I also carry a thick piece of plastic and Candy's blanket with me everywhere we travel, and I make sure she knows that is her place to sleep.
My home is clean, and Candy no longer feels embarrassed.
Also, please let people know that they can train a dog to take cover in an earthquake - just like other family members. Pick a "safe" spot in every room.
We practice at least twice a month. If my dogs and I are in the living room, I yell "Earthquake!" and we all run under the dining room table. If we are in the bedroom, we all run into the closet where the bottled water is stored.
Please, do not forget your pet in disaster preparedness.
- Yorba Linda, Calif.,
Dog Lover
Dear Abby: I just read the letter from "Baffled Barbara, Holbrook, N.Y.," whose divorced father married her mother's sister. I think I can top that:
Right after I was married 23 years ago, my in-laws divorced. Two years later, my parents divorced. Then my mom married my husband's father. That means my husband is also my stepbrother, my kids are also my nephews, and my mother is my stepmother-in-law. (I could go on, but you get the picture.)
The question I am most frequently asked by acquaintances: "Did your dad marry your mother-in-law?" (No.)
The most frequently asked question by my youngest son: "Now which grandpa was your REAL dad?"
- Judy Green,
Victoria, Texas
Dear Judy: Your family ties are akin to confusing.
*****
CROSSROADS
All of the Dear Abby columns since 1988 are available online. Search for DEAR ABBY in the Lifestyle section and the Deseret News archives.